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The Social Worker at the hospital finds placement, Memory Care, for my BIL. So, my husband and I go buy clothes and things that he needs and make a long distance trip to deliver theses items to the new Memory Care Facility.


Trusting that the Social Worker would find him a great place to be, my husband and I pull up to this Facility, both of us thinking, this is not a good place. The look of the building and how unprofessional the office manager was, we knew this was not going to be a good fit.


So this was the day that my BIL was supposed to make the transition to the facility. The office manager stated she would call us once he arrived and settled in. My husband and I make the drive home, to receive the call …. That they would not be able to accept him there. I won't go in to details. Anyway, my husband and I were relieved.


My husband and I made arrangements to go and pick up the new clothes and things we bought and within a weeks time, they went missing.


I am just lost for words. How does a social worker and business owner, make such a mess?

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Majic, th Since the date of this post I think that the OP who posted has found another facility for the BIL that is much better, and also closer so that the Brother and SIL can visit a bit more often.
Certain facilities do vary. It is hard to find good care. My own brother was so lucky to be in an absolutely wonderful ALF. Doesn't happen for all, and that is so very sad, especially now with Covid-19 rampant and people so much more limited in ways to visit and check on things.
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When my mother was in the memory care unit of the nursing home, all of her clothes...which was only socks and sweat pants had her name on them never made it to her. She never had her own clothes on. They hardly ever had her glasses on her either. This was the longest hardest 2 months of my life with my mother. Not all facilities are like this, but this is a big indicator that staff don't care
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FloridaDD Sad but true.
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Gladimhere You are right. I most definitely need to do the Memory Care Shopping myself. At first, I was going too, but then I changed my mind. Thought maybe by the Social Worker being a "professional" and familiar with the area (my husband and I are out of town) that hopefully she would make a good choice. I was wrong and shocked.

Yes, it is hard finding a bed for him. The ones that I do find, say that can not accept him because of the medicines he is on. Thanks
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Is your BIL on Medicaid? Who is his PoA? Is he under guardianship by the county? You don't give any details in your profile and the answers to these questions would help those who are giving responses. Thanks!
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How upsetting. You need to do your own memory care shopping. I would not have trusted anyone else to select the facility for my mom. I would have asked for a list of places with great care, they are not all pretty, and then first shopped the via internet, narrow the list, then in person shop.

If BIL is on Medicaid it will be very hard to find a place that has a bed for him.
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I am very sorry.  The social worker at the hospital does not care about finding a good facility, she just wants BIL placed out.  You have to research places.   Yes, things disappear.   I am sorry.  Next time, put his name indelibly on everything.
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