Hey folks, welcome to the new whine/general topic thread. Feel free to use this thread to discuss anything that is on your mind. Caregiving- related stuff, life after a loved one's death, your own emotional wellbeing. Whatever..........anything on your mind.
Planning for your own older ages is a good idea, but family relationships matter too. For example, you haven’t mentioned a POA as part of your planning, and a trusted child is a usual choice.
Good on you for preparing. I am 83, partner is 85, and he and I both raised two girls each before we met and joined with them already grown, some 38 years ago. We have taken care of business as well and would NEVER have any hands on care from our kids. His two live close in our area, and mine out across the country with lots of visits. There is estrangement with one child of the family.
Might I ask you--you say that your children all live in your area but that not one of them "cares". If you mean that they don't care to do caregiving, amen to that; they SHOULDN'T in my opinion. But if all FOUR simply don't CARE there is a history that dictates reasons for that. I am wondering not so much what those reasons are, as being estranged from a child I know they would make a book of some length. But I am wondering if there is a chance/a choice for some loving connection of some kind, and a sharing of lives. Our children grow up. They have their own friends, their own opinions, their own lives, and that is as it should be, but it is surprising to hear you have four in your area with not a one interested in connection.
Good on you for making plans, but I have one more suggestion. If you don't have family, then what about friends. Because there comes a time you need some help. Not a LOT. But some. And if you can hire that in that is good. But you mention the good old demise in the home. It happens more than you know. And for my brother, when he lived alone in Palm Springs, he had friends once in 80s where they called one another daily. Toward the end once in a.m. and once in p.m. It really is a good thing. Because that can come down to wellness checks.
Boy that Swedish Cleaning thing! End of life prep is one big subject for sure. Wish we had a whole column about it, because what's for dinner in my case is often pretty boring at this point, hee hee. And repetitive. It's Trader Joe homemade pizza again tonight!
Hope you have a long time to enjoy life before you have to put these plans in place.
But to get to my real birthday you'll have to write the date as day, month, year . The day should be obvious😜, but for security purposes I'm not giving away the month 🤪 (lol)
Even funnier (to me at least) is that I only now realized my nephew #2 and I have mirror birthday dates!
We have no designated holiday spending, and no longer send gifts for many years now. Counselors have mentioned that after rent, utilities, and groceries for the disabled income, there is very little left over. Yet, he doesn't get it, acts entitled.
But I have a lock on the accounts, and will beef up security.
If he continues to act like the enemy, he will be treated like the enemy.
I pray for my enemies, so he should look out.
Can the two of you talk sensibly about holiday spending?
Apparently, Rep-Payee only covers Social Security Income.
Spouse feels all the rest is HIS to splurge, and kept a secret from me.
This is not acceptable, at least to me. He has crossed a fine line of entitlement and betrayal. However, he does this once a year in November and December.
If the contempt continues, this will be the deal breaker.
I do think there are times where "yours, mine and ours" works best, but that is not always the case.
Sympathies, send. That's difficult.
The term "mutiny" in this context likely refers to a partner taking control of the finances, which can be a form of financial abuse regardless of the reason. While a husband with autism might take over money due to communication differences, a lack of understanding of shared finances, or other factors, this behavior can still be harmful and requires addressing the situation with clear communication and professional support.
I’ve often thought if I was bedridden , or had dementia I would be frightened .
I think they should find out from the patient or the family if their LO did not like ( large ) or any dogs in general .
My parents did not like when the dogs came in. My mother liked the cats that used to come though .
It’s always been in the common living room or dining room area and the residents selected to participate were those that would not be upset by the activity .
I imagine some residents might get confused and stressed out.
🌟🌟🌟
“Don’t feel sad over someone who gave up on you. Feel sorry for them because they gave up on someone who would have never given up on them.”
i wish you to find love.
🌟🌟🌟
Oh, good. This bout is over. Know we know you, we remember you, you're a member in good standing, and we are always here to listen. And otherwise it is just to wish you best of luck. Keep on keeping on.