The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

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Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.

The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"

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Frazzled, I hope all goes well with your mom. Early on the onset of my mom's dementia, she was having mood swings. Anger, accusations that we were trying to make her crazy by hiding her things, etc... She must have known something was wrong. This was a few years into her dementia, because my dad had to retire early to take over her care 24/7... One day, he found her trying to hang herself from the clothesline. She was kind of dangling but … the clothesline weren't high enough or maybe the rope wasn't long enough to succeed. Poor mom...
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Glad&Gershun I am so sorry to hear you both lost your moms. When I lost my aunt moms sister in 99 I felt like my heart was pulled out. I took care of her too while mom was at another AL dealing with her disability. Arranging my aunts care needs, at nursing home, hospitals and then her passing was unreal. I barely remember the night of the wake. Then having to help mom thru it was something I can't describe. God carried me thru! it took months before I could consider going thru her things. The experience is so painful because I believe she passed too soon. Now I have mom. I have learned a lot from my aunts experience. I'm not ready to let go of mom especially do to adult home/AL mishaps. Mom is depressed over the last couple of days and feels like a prisoner in there. The rules & regulations are too much for her. I don't want her to slip away from a broken heart.
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Dori, what your are feeling is normal. I was so wiped out after my mom passed. It was about 8 months before I finally felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. I didn’t do hands on like you did.

Frazz, take care of you first. Stress will wear you down.

duck, I’m sorry you feel so backed against a wall with your mom. I think talking with your therapist USA good idea too

golden, home sweet home! I hope you feel better soon. Wow, finally they are putting your mom back on risperdal. Thank goodness. That med worked wonders for my dad too.

Slow progress for my brother. He is wriggling his toes now. The Ritalin is helping to stimulate him.

Im also dealing with a cold now. We went to McCall today. Very pretty, tourist area that is open year round. We had the whole lake to ourself due to time of year. That will change when the snow comes.

Good night everyone, take care xx.
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Golden
shame a nasty bug ruined your trip but good you've got doc's attention

I still bring the Viking donuts and she could easily have eaten 1/2 dozen a couple of years ago

there's a rather famous donut shop along Route 66 that makes 12 inch twirls and strawberry filled glazed donuts - it's open 24/7 and always has a line

maybe next time I have insomnia I'll take a drive to the donut man
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Dorianne, finally something I can offer advice on.

When my Mom passed I was so drained and emotionally and physically exhausted that I passed the buck with clearing out my Mom's place. I justified it with the fact that I had pretty much done everything for the last few years of my Mom's life and arranged for her service afterward etc. But now I regret that cause once the dust had settled so to speak, I thought of certain things I would have liked to have kept. Her old Singer sewing machine, nativity scene from Christmas decorations etc. Sis hired 1-800 got Junk to cart it all away, used Mom's money at a cost of $1000 dollars to do it. Totally impersonal and quick.

So, if you have the time Dorianne, take it and possibly save yourself any regret in the future.
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Golden, six donuts! Good for you! Tim's? Krispy Kreme?

I recall when I was in my twenties picking up a big box of donuts from Tim's and polishing them off. Not now...............I'd have to starve for a week and get on the eliptical for 10 hours a day to burn that off now.

I remember we had a potluck at work once years ago. I had brought a big loaf of garlic bread which no one touched. I took it back home that night and ate the whole loaf. Ah, those were the days.
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Home safe, lovely drive and I ate 1/2 doz chocolate glazed donuts on the way home. I didn't think I was capable of that.. I washed them down with black coffee followed by lots of raw carrots, broccoli and celery. I find that rich/sweet food settles better if I eat raw veggies after. Seems to work. I feel fine and I shouldn't after 6 donuts. I haven't eaten a donut in years!!!

The doctor called and he is putting mother back on the risperdal, I was polite and thanked him. JERK!!! Mother has been badly off for most of this year and they had to guinea pig her with different antid's. The LPN called and was sweet and will call me as soon as she sees an improvement. The DOC is going to get an earful from me about the lack of communication. Apparently she has no information that mother has not been doing well. Where is the break down? INCOMPETENCE!!!

I could go on but i won't. I will save it for them, and I need to simmer down so I can get some sleep,

Nite all. Sweet (donut) dreams, 🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩 lol
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WOW, 30,000 comments on this thread! Great idea magnum!
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Magnum, have you been able to return home? So much flooding! Hope you found all ok.
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Golden, I don't know what it takes to get them to listen to the family - the doctor knows best (not!!)😡
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