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I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)

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Don't burn bridges
Just loosen the bolts a little bit every day
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From the good old days:

by pfontes16
Apr 2016
Bert feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. 'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was In the den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what .' Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Peg, what's for dinner?'

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again he gets no response. So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away.

'Honey, what's for dinner?' Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her. 'Peg, what's for dinner?'

(I just love this)??

'For F*-#?? sake, Bert, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!'
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Here is some rock solid advice:

Try your hardest
Stay grounded
Start each day with a clean slate
Keep still
Be well rounded
Live in balance
Never take life for granite
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🥰☕️

”If you are not coffee, chocolate or bacon, I’m going to need you to go away.”
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🥰☕️

“I have seen things. Awful things. Empty coffee cups.”
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🥰☕️☕️☕️☕️

“Monday checklist: coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee.”
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dear bandy,

you take care of yourself now.
🥰 have a great day!
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Thanks Bundle. There's still a bunch though. I guess it's because of multiple posts in other threads too, i.e, General Topics.
I hope nothing went wrong with your plans this weekend.
Keep forging ahead & be strong.
Thanks for sharing what you do.
From the little you've said about yourself (at least what I've seen), it does seem like you must be dealing with a really tough situation. You're always so kind when you respond to others though, which is something I notice and appreciate.
btw,...
You wrote me something last week to the effect of my mom always being just wonderful to me. Not true. This doesn't change that I love her so much, how I feel about her, or what I posted which you were responding to.
I wish you all the best BOJ.
Hang in there!
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🥰 monday…

“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Monday morning. Your regularly scheduled happiness will resume on Friday. Sorry for the inconvenience!”
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🥰

“When does hibernation start because I am 100% participating in that.”
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dear bandy,

hug! i’ll continue as i do.

i hope your day is good! there is a way to unfollow the joke thread, this way you don’t receive notifications of new jokes.
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Thanks Bundle, hope you're having a nice Sunday too!

Since you have so many, one suggestion might be to save them up and only post maybe once or twice a day with 4 or 5 in a post instead of so many dfferent entries that fill up pgs & pgs of several different discussion threads.
Or not.
Whatever you want.
It's just an idea so people could read without scrolling though so many pages.
Either way is fine with me though.
I come here to help people, answer questions, and see what other's experiences are... Which is probably why I never clicked on this thread before.
Please know I have no problem with whatever way you choose to share your many sayings or jokes. I truly wish you all the best with the difficult situations in your life and thank you for being so upbeat in light of whatever you face.
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🥰

“I’m glad my pet can’t talk. He knows too much.”
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🙂

“I don’t like the fact that my chances of survival seem to be linked to the common sense of others.”
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❤️🙂

“Bring COFFEE and a DONUT. Set them on the desk. Do not speak. Do not make eye contact. Back away slowly.”
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🥰 since you mention books…

“How to shop with a bookworm: Enter the bookstore. Keep eyes on your bookworm at all times. Wow, ok, you lost them.”

“When trouble strikes, head to the library. You will either be able to solve the problem, or simply have something to read as the world crashes down on you.”
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🥰 hug!

they are quotes, therefore not my invention. they are not from a book. i’m very good at finding funny things here and there.

many of us caregivers go through rough times. i try to make us smile/laugh. i also feed my elderly LOs jokes, daily, so they start the day laughing with their breakfast.

have a nice sunday!
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Hi Bundle! I've never clicked on this thread before tonight and I find it quite interesting! The thread was started back in 2012 it says, but at this point it seems it's become just your own personal thread where you post jokes and sayings every couple hours??? (I've seen the same on another thread too but on that one at least 3 or 4 of the other entries on the page were from others besides you). Some of your sayings are very good, funny, or at a minimum interesting! So I'll thank you for sharing!! I couldn't possibly read them all in the limited time I have now, but I'm really intrigued by this. Where do you come up with all these? Are you posting bits and pieces from a book you have? Do you invent them yourself?
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🥰

“Me: Finally gets 8 hours of sleep.

My neck and back: Congrats! But you did it wrong.”
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🥰

“I wonder how much of what weighs me down is not mine to carry…”
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🦥🦥🦥🙂

“I like to sleep a lot, so I have the energy to sleep more.”
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🦥🦥🦥🙂

“Come to the sloth side. We have naps.”
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❤️🙂

“I’m going to be very busy in the afterlife. The list of people I’m going to haunt grows every day.”
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❤️🙂

“I want to pause adulting & lower the difficulty."
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❤️🙂

“My whole life can be summed up in one sentence: ‘Wellll, that didn’t go as planned.’”
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❤️🙂

“I’m the kind of person who goes to a party…and makes friends with the dog.”
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❤️🙂

“Being a person is getting too complicated. Time to be a unicorn.”
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❤️❤️

“With my luck, I will probably die the day after I get my s*** together.”
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❤️🙂

“My boss said I intimidate coworkers. I stared at him until he apologized.”
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❤️🙂

“I’m afraid if I give up sarcasm, I would have to replace it with murder.”
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