My "whine moment today". What's yours?

Started by

I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.


i got snubbed today. stopped by ednas and she was in the cafeteria playing bingo. pretty low keyed event so i sat with her. about the second time i helped her mark a number she told me if i wanted to play , get some cards. shes doing real well right now and i guess i " demeaned " her in front of her peers.
ya haveta roll with the flow with dementia patients i guess.
jeanette, by dam my mom was a big eater too. shed whack a huge pot of veg soup in about 5 days. id make various bread dishes and her and my kid would go thru them. id bury my head in my ice cream bucket. cooking is more fun than eating.
Their tastes do change as they go through this, right? I just hope mine quit wanting sweets when I get to be their age.
My whine moment of the day was a bit sad. My cousin called. He recently went into post-surgical sepsis and was close to death. He was given back to us, but still has a long road to full recovery. We had a 3-way conversation going, but my mother couldn't quit talking about herself. Cousin wanted to talk and I wanted to hear, but we were drown out. When we hung up, I talked about how we had almost lost him. My mother dismissed it, saying it wasn't that bad and that doctors didn't know what they were talking about. It was bothersome to have her trivialize the near death of someone who meant so much to me. No point in discussing it, though. I just "sucked it up." I'm starting to feel like a sponge.

Oh... and I'm tired of cooking, too. I only cook one meal a day, but there's only a few things she'll eat. So dinner is boring and totally uninspired. (I don't like to cook much, anyway.)
Hubs went out to do some errands this morning and came back with two packages of stew beef because it was on sale. He thought "we could make a double batch" and give some to his mom to put in her freezer. Fine. Except MIL likes her stew one way and I like mine another, sooo....not so much a "double batch" as two separate ones. And WE won't be making it. I will because "mom likes the way you make it." I love the man, his heart's in the right place, but it drives me crazy when he says "we" and really means me. And stew is a winter dish that takes time to prep.....potatoes and carrots and parsnips to peel...onions and celery to chop.... I'm tired of all that. The snow's all gone and I'm ready for steak tips that I can marinate and pop on the grill with chunks of sweet pepper and onion. Sum-sum-summertime food! Mmmmm.......
So that's what I'm whining about today. Tomorrow I'll be making stew. Two pots.
smaller whine -no hot water this morning so a cool shower
larger whine -having to move mother again -3rd time in less than 5 years. And this will have to be a two or three phase move- get rid of some stuff and store the rest, then some months down the road move mother and what she wants/needs of the stored stuff and get rid of the rest. And I have no assurance from her psych that this will be the last move. I do not want to be moving her again when I am 80!!!
I've done a lot of whining this week. I think I've used up my quota for the month.

JeanetteB, I thought I'd retire from cooking. Brought a lot of food home from restaurants, bought high-end frozen entrees, etc. Hoped to cook when the mood struck me. That didn't last long as my husband slid into some eating restrictions and while we still went out it was easiest to cook at home.

Now I have two boarders (a son and a daughter) who can eat anything and like to try new things, so cooking is really fun again.

If you feel guilty about lots of fast food, try meals from the deli department and/or the good frozen dinners.

I too have done a lot of whining this week..But darn it! This care giving drives us to it..Between my Mom whining about my daughter who had surgery this week getting my attention and my whining about Mom whining, I'm going to have a nervous breakdown!! Jeez....

I agree stew "out", grilled food "in"!
My mother is now in a NH, it's just me and my dogs and I'm taking back my life, so I have no whine but I can certainly relate to the cooking nightmare. My mother is a vegetarian and in the years after my father passed she lived on frozen heat and eat meals (yukk). She hated cooking and every time I visited for a weekend or at Christmas I'd have to cook everything and haul it 200 miles to her house.

During the years I cared for her I'd spend hours cooking and often she'd just turn her nose up (for a narcissist nothing is ever quite good enough) and it drove me batty.

These days I cook from scratch in bulk - meat, shepherd's pie, spaghetti sauce and quiche - and freeze in portions. Just got to get something to go with whatever and you're done. Frees up so much time.
My hubby will eat whatever I put in front of him without any complaints. I even feel the need to apologize for some of the leftovers, etc. So that's not a whiny problem for me. It's that every day he wants to die, says I am not his real wife and dreams up some far-fetched thing to be worried about. That seems to come on him at about 3:00 PM every day. Oh, and also, he spends most of every night in his LaZy Boy chair all bent over and is not ever cold, but in bed with electric mattress pad and blanket, he is freezing, while I am roasting, though my side is not heated - the room is at 76 degrees which is warm for sleeping.. That's about it for now, until the next dementic (I know - not really a word.) imagination. The latest being that he has just quit working and needs to go into the Bank (employer until 26 years ago) files downstairs which he cannot manage, so I must drive him around to the lower level today where he can just walk in...Grrr... There is no reasoning with him and every day it's something different I live in dreadful expectation. whine, whine...
Lois 3 p.m. seems to be a triggering time. I'd get tantrum phone calls from my mother anywhere between 3 and 5 every day which were making me ill until I had a blackout due to stress and changed my phone number.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support