My 85 year old mother has some dementia and she leaves nasty messages on your answer machine she does not get her way. I am a caregiver to my husband who has Parkinson's disease, severe to moderate dementia, suffered several strokes, diabetes and other health issues. I have to assist him in bathing, going to the bathroom and other daily tasks. He has fallen several times and broken bones, so he is a fall risk. My mother who lives in an independent senior apartment who me and my siblings pay for an inhome care aid to come 7 days week to help her. My mother is so jealous of me taking care of my husband and when I have inlaws coming to visit. She says I was stupid to take care of my husband and not doing anything else in my life. I was fortunate to retire from the Federal Government after 39+ years. I enjoy being at home because before I retired I did not have a break (always worked more than 40 hours a week).
I was married before to a physical and verbally abusive man whom I divorce after 12 years of marriage. I did not realize what a relief it was to be out of that situation. Now, I am content with just taking care of my second husband with the help of my son. When my mother is verbal abusive to me it brings back memories of the fights I had with my first abusive husband. My question is what is the difference tolerating a verbally abusive mother and a verbally abusive husband? I left my first husband and never looked back. Should I do the same with my abusive mother?