Today was the last straw, I'm done, I'm done I AM DONE. What I need help with is how do I go about taking my name off everything- her mail, Dr offices, pharmacy, bank....everything.

Certified Mail?

If and when something happens to her am I in anyway going to be responsible? i.e. if she passes away and I get the call, can/do I say nope sorry, not my problem?

If/When she does go, who has to clean out apt?

Can I get a restraining order to force her into never calling? How about character destruction?

Can I bring suit against her? She has done a number on my business and I can prove it in writing.

Here is the short story, she has turned my husband in for abusing me. Told them I was covered in bruises and I always am. There is now an open investigation and people have been questioned..... The story this woman put out there from what I'm hearing is vile. It's all over town-including my business. My kids are horrified. It's even gotten to the kids in laws~! Never been hit-ever- we live together, work together, sleep and play together.......dam near 40 years.

I need to sever all ties, legally and get this womans mouth duct taped shut I just dont know how until I get an appointment with a lawyer; a bill I cant afford, but he needs to have a lawyer now due to these charges/investigation.

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Sometimes. With MANY things in life,the hardest thing to do is...nothing.

Wait. Get some perspective. Get some options.

I am a long time reader here. I have had to go into a somewhat lurker mode again.

Deep breaths OP. But get some perspective. And you do that so that you know your options.
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Get what you can together to prove her wrong, then get a restraining order that she is to have no contact with you. Once the investigation is done and her accusations are unfounded see if there is paperwork that you can have drawn up protecting you from having to care for her in any way.

Why would you need a lawyer. If you say he didn't abuse you, then that should be that. The only time he would need a lawyer is if you were bringing charges of abuse or her on her person.

When all is said and done, you may want to ask the powers that be to have her evaluated. There maybe mental problems on her part.
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I would also say wait. You will calm down and then decisions you make will be more appropriate.
I would blank her calls. Block them on your phone's and don't go near her for a month.
Mmaybe a friend or family member not directly involved can speak with her about future ground rules and what happens if not adhered to.
Is she ill. Has she got Alzheimer's perhaps.
Hugs and try to stay strong. Concentrate on now and give yourself some treats and outings.
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The first thing you need to do is to calm down. Wait for a week. See what happens in that time. Police back off? Kids find a way to spread the true word? Focus on your business, being calm and turning off the aggro?

Don't make things worse. Don't rush to a lawyer and start a lot of bills rolling in. Don't start and enormous amount of work getting your name off everything and drowning in paperwork and bureaucracy.

You have every reason to be angry. Your mother has completely lost it. But your own best interest is not to lose it yourself!
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Struggling, oh I am so sorry that she has done this. I would be done as well, but I would file a defamation case against her, unless she has been declared. She has crossed a line that has no return.

Mail, put a change of address in with the post office and send a letter to everyone that sends mail to your house with her new mailing address. If you get any mail that isn't bulk mail postage, write "No one by this name at this address, return to sender"

If you hold any joint accounts with her the accounts may need to be closed, your bank will be able to tell you how to separate yourself from her account.

Any doctors or pharmacy you can send letters telling them that you are no longer a contact for her and you want your phone number, address and name removed so you are not contacted. If they call, sorry this is not her number please remove it from your records.

Unless you are on her lease as a cosigner they can be told that they are unfortunately stuck dealing with the apartment and the contents because she is dead and you are not a point of contact. They can't force you, they may threaten you and at that point you send a certified letter stating that you are not responsible and will not be communicating any further. If you are on the lease, you need to give them a 30 day written notice that you are not going to be a cosigner and to remove your name, you could be responsible for the term of the lease.

When she dies and they contact the next of kin, you can say you can't do anything and that they need to do whatever they do with people that have no one. Refuse, refuse and refuse. In my state they cremate the body and flush it down the sewer. Sounds like a fitting end for her.

How can the police be investigating when the supposed victim says it's just a hateful mom trying to destroy you? I think I would be talking to the chief of police and find out what the heck is going on.

Good luck getting away from the evilness that she has spewed and created. I would ask the attorney about suing her?

Hugs to you!
Helpful Answer (4)
NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2019
Good explanation, isthisreallyreal!
Don’t know the answers but I would be done too! So sorry. Maybe contact elder attorney to get everything done legally just to be on the safe side. Best of luck to you and your family. HUGS!
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