Let me start by saying I am taking care of my mother because no one else will. She has lived off my father, her mother, and now me. This is a woman who reminded me daily when I was a child that I was an unwanted pregnancy, how much she hated kids etc. As a child, I was absued by my father and she knew about it, when I was 14 she informed me that had I not ran through the house naked at age 3 I would've never been abused.
(I forgave my father because it allowed me to be free of my anger, not that he was right! He asked for forgiveness and for MY sake, I gave it) ok so he died in 2014 and she has been living with me ever since then. She wouldn't take care of my dad but now that her health is failing everyone should WANT to uproot their lives and care for her. My only sibling could give two craps about caring for her all she wants is cold hard cash. Which my mother has already made her life insurance benefactor my sister, so all I get is the JOY of this time with her and her expenses. My mother is a narcissist, a chronic complainer,with emphysema, stage I don't know lung cancer metastatic to the brain. The neurologist has been radiating spots on her brain every 6 months since the day she turned 65 and she is 18 days from 67. Ooh I forgot to mention she still smokes like a freight train and refuses to stop. She only quit drinking after she had brain surgery and the doctor said it wasn't safe. Ok now that you have some back story let me begin.
There is actually a question floating in this somewhere I promise...
So why is it when she gets a cough, a cold or an attack of allergies why does she expect me to treat her like a sick 2 year old?
My mother in law says I am just too hard on my mother which is another thing for another time. I am trying but the more I give the more she expects from me. I dread a day off! I work two jobs and care for my own daughter who has autism . I have my own family with my own problems! How did I end up in this no win situation? I feel like I have sold my sould to the devil himself!
You would think since she is in fact dying she would want to I don't know, go to church with us on Sundays? Or at least try to be helpful in some way but no. She sleeps all day and wonders why she can't sleep at night. I feel sorry for her poor doctors because she bugs them to death! Finally yesterday I called and got her some cough meds with codeine hoping it would help and it does but it certainly doesn't stop the complaining, groaning and poor pitiful me attitude she has. Other than putting an ocean between us which (I wish) was an option. Can someone help me figure out how to cope?
This is going to sound awful but if she is going to be with me until sweet death comes for her (or me) I am so stressed out I don't know what to do!
Now on days she is FORCED to leave the house like for a doctor's appointment or something she acts fine but when it's just she and I she acts as if the grim reaper is coming any day!
(Now I'm just venting) but after my grandmother, her mom leaves for WEEKS she acts like a complete child! She will raise her voice from her bedroom, bring me a drink, bring me a sandwich, wash my clothes, clean my bathroom whatever. Like she is paralyzed and can't pass the threshold BUT by grannies she can walk outside to smoke 45 cigarettes a day, yes she smokes two packs a day! Someone please guide me, my own health (and mental outlook) is changing, depression is setting in and down comes the rain. I don't have time for myself EVER! It feels like I am being pulled in three hundred directions all the time, I can't eat, I am losing a lot of weight, I'm already severely anemic but not once has she inquired about my health or heart! And you know what? I don't think it's very good! I'm 38 and I feel like I have aged 40 years just being g here!