Caring for Mom
When elderly parents can no longer care for themselves, adult children often transition into the role of caring for Mom or Dad. As much as aging parents desire to remain independent, there comes a time when health or cognitive issues interfere with their ability to function without assistance, and an adult child needs to step in.
Aging often highlights the complexities of the relationship between a mother and a child. The traditional definition of mothering is characterized by providing care, so the shift in role to becoming a care recipient is often a challenge to long-standing family dynamics.
When an elderly parent shows signs of needing assistance with activities of daily living, it’s important to consider their needs as compared to what you are willing and capable of providing. When making long-term care plans for Mom, there are some tough questions that should be given careful consideration.
Questions to ask when considering caring for Mom:
- What is the history of my relationship with Mom?
- How much care is needed?
- How much care can I personally provide; am I capable of providing hands-on day to day care, or could I best serve Mom by managing her care decisions?
- Is there anyone with whom I could share the caregiving responsibility?
- What impact will caring for Mom have on my own relationships- spouse, children and friendships?
- Where does our family stand on hiring in-home care or placing Mom in a long-term care facility?
- Does mom have the resources to pay for care; am I willing to invest my own resources?
To answer these questions and navigate through the emotional, financial and physical challenges of caring for your Mom, use AgingCare’s resources for information, advice and support. Explore articles written by experts to help plan this new stage of life and find the support of other caregivers with experience in the challenges of caring for Mom in our online Caregiver Support Group.
Planning Ahead for Mom and Dad's Elderly Care
Advance care planning can make a critical difference in the lives of your parents as they age. An elder law attorney can help your elderly parents with advance directives, wills, living trusts and power of attorney before they get sick.11 Comments
How Caregiving Can Help Us Redefine the True Meaning of Motherhood
What do we owe our aging mothers? Learning to appreciate those who mothered us during our formative years and finding forgiveness in our hearts for those who faltered in these duties can help us come to terms with these relationships.6 Comments
"I Love My Mom But I Don't Like Her."
We may love our parents because they are family, but that doesn't necessarily mean we like them as people. When caregiving responsibilities fall to you, how do you take care of parents who you don't like?506 Comments
Mom’s Moving In: How to Adapt Your Home for an Elderly Parent
Deciding to move your elderly parent in with you is a choice that will significantly alter life as you know it. Consider these tips for adapting your home to create a safe and successful multi-generational living arrangement.5 Comments
POA: How do I make sure I have the legal authority to make decisions on mom's behalf?
In order to make most decisions on an aging loved one's behalf, you must be given the legal power to do so. A durable power of attorney is a document your relative executes that gives you specific legal powers to act on his or her behalf.12 Comments
Memory Care: The Greatest Gift We Could Give Mom
The progression of Mom’s Alzheimer's disease over the last eight years had been pretty much textbook, but nothing could have prepared us for the decision to place her in a specialized dementia care facility.49 Comments
Finding the happy medium between what’s important TO Mom and what’s important FOR Mom with dementia. Any ideas?12 Answers
Narcissistic mother with Alzheimer’s. Any words of wisdom?9 Answers
Mom and I are done with covid vaccines. I'm concerned now that she’s going to press me daily for outings. She’s in a dementia unit. Advice?4 Answers
NH mixed mom up w/ another patient, called saying she needed hospice, vitals were failing. Mom is fine. How do we make them pay for this?14 Answers
I want to add a little something...2 Comments
I’m so upset! I finally decided to move mom into assisted living and now this!57 Comments
My mom has been a miserable, nasty, and hateful person all her life. As a mother she has dominated every aspect of her children's life.1,140 Comments
I'm so disheartened and angry.11,375 Comments
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