We have had three years of two parents passing, sibling issues, pets passing, inheriting tons of worthless mess, and mom having a stroke unable to speak.
This was three years ago it all started suddenly. She is in an assisted living and is partially independent, needs assistance standing and such. She had a right side stroke so the left brain is affected. Recently she had a UTI which put her in the hospital for 10 days and now is at a rehab facility receiving the rest of her IV meds there for 14 more days. The change turned her into a crying baby with being moved and routine changes. She was ok while I was gone apparently, and cries when I’m there over all that isn’t the same like brushing her teeth or getting her hair done. All small things. After 12 days solid, I reached the point I became sick from nerves and told her I had to go home. She was in good hands and basically to suck it up, it wasn’t forever.
My husband has had enough as well. Over three years he sees the change in me and our home life, relationship and my health. I have a friend who goes to work with her besides me through the week thankfully and has offered to take extra time off me. I feel like I could go a month easy and be fine not seeing her. Just to be there makes me nauseaous. Terrible but true. Never thought I’d hit this point but when my husband has turned all the blame of life and happenings into her not taking Meds and having a stroke causing the trickle down effect it has, it’s a reality check. We are all sick of the whole thing. There’s not enough off days to make me give a crap. I love mom, but empty. She’s drained me for all I have now and trying to suck the last of life out of me and she doesn’t even understand because she can’t put herself in others’ place anymore.
What's my next steps? I will not sacrifice my marriage for her like I did my childhood protecting her from an abusive husband.