I need help. My in-laws have been accepted to an independent living complex, and now she doesn't want to leave because they are fighting too much, and she is embarrassed because the new place is smaller.
I am POA for them financially, and they do not have a ton of money, but this is getting ridiculous! Do I just let them duke it out?
They both have memory issues, but I travel for work 11 on/10 off, and my husband (this is his mom and stepdad) is a private yacht captain and is gone until September.
They can't live safely by themselves in their current home? Because it's cheaper?
Why aren't they going to an Assisted Living place? Too expensive?
An "Independent" complex is basically an age-defined apartment, meaning over 55 only, no children allowed. The complex won't be "helping" them with anything. They still have to do their own driving, shopping, cooking & cleaning.
If you need advice on how to get them in to see their primary doctor, come back to this forum because there are strategies for this.
FYI being PoA for 2 needy and uncooperative people will be extremely challenging. Even with PoA authority it won't be easy to get an unreasonable senior with memory impairment to do things they resist.
First things first: make sure your PoA is active for them. If you are only their financial PoA, then who is their Medical?
In any event, having financial POA for them gives you no rights over anything but finances. When your husband gets home, he may want to talk to them and get them to their PCP for a physical and possible antidepressants to better control their mood swings,
Best of luck to you.
Becoming quarrelsome can be a huge issue. I recall how it started with my cousin. She argued over everything and nothing. If it’s due to cognitive decline, they have little control over it. I’d be concerned for them to duke it out unsupervised. Good luck finding a solution. Even if they promise to get along, I wouldn’t believe it. Meds for agitation might help, but still….who will ensure they take the meds?
And if money is an issue, you'll have to apply for Medicaid for them.
How bad are their memories? Can they function in an assisted living with minimal help? It doesn't sound like it from what I've read here.
I don't have much more to add to this since you've been offered plenty of good advice here.
one of my neighbours tested a place before she agreed to move out
they let her stay overnight
she may line it once there
anything you do make sure you get your husbands agreement
blood runs thick
he needs to be involved in any decisions
best wishes