I understood my dads need for companion told him I was ok outside the house And would pay for more hours so he could go out. He disregarded this and moved the mistress in after only knowing her 3 months. She met as a backfill caregiver the agency sent for two weekends. Since she's moved in, she fired my caregiver, brought another one in or clearly they know each other.
It's been 3 months now, she continues to unplug the camera despite the many talks it's for my moms well being but she claims she unplugs it for privacy. She's taken down all the family pictures and claims it's because they want to paint. They keep my mom on a couch all day except for eating, bathroom and showers. She told me to my face in front of my dad when asked do you respect this house and family no. I've asked her to leave for a weekend when I'm there to stay at her son's house where she used to live 30min away. Responded no because it's her house, she's in a relationship with my dad and I need to accept it. I'm so worried about my moms health, they think she's is too far along to understand what's going on but she has more tremors and the not walking only using wheelchair only started after she moved in and deemed by mom unfit to walk. She continues to push my dad away from me, telling him if I can't accept or respect her I shouldn't be allowed to come home. I try to take it, so I can see my mom but it brakes me. I've seen a therapist for the first time last month, not helping much. I tried to offer to get another caregiver in the evenings I hire, he said no she was fine and he was taking care of my mom with the mistress how he sees fit. I've talked to lawyers, they said I wouldn't win if I tried to divorce him to have financial support to get her out. I could only take her with me if I quit my job but then wouldn't have financial support and can't do it all alone. My brother lives at home and support my dads choice as he's not confrontational. I've tried so many ways to get though to him to compromise, nothing's works. I'm broken, lost and out of solutions. I just want spend time with my mom at home but can't, they moved into my room, sleep together and my moms alone at night. I let my mom down, I can't control the situation, I can't find a solution and so broken. I have compassionate for him but their is no compromise. I miss my mom, my faimily and home. As if losing her wasn't enough I have nothing and spent the last 6 years caring for her and now I ask was it worth all the sacrifice. Would my mom want me to suffer move home or take her with me, or would she want me to live my life and be happy accepting things as they are? The lady is clearly after money I can careless about, I'm just worried she hurts my mom. It makes me so sad to see my mom getting worse, no one correlates to these changes, they are even affectionate in front of her. She deserves so much more and I've failed her as a daughter and I can't fix things, I'm so angry I don't want to go home because they don't want me there because they are happy alone but it's not fair to my mom it's still her home it's our home but we aren't a family anymore. I never thought things could get to be this. 55 years married and just flipped a switch to be this dad I don't even know. I write letters to my mom everyday since I can't see her telling her the things I wish I could tell her in person and each time tell her how sorry I am because she deserved so much more. Why! Why can't I fix this or let her live the end of days as she deserves surrounded with love not abandoned on a couch 12 hours a day. It's just so sad and I'm hopeless.