This is at least the 3rd xmas we've had to deal with vile and nasty behaviour from my Grandma, I actually found a post I sent a few years ago on here in the same situation 😂 This xmas my 82 year old grandma spent xmas day, boxing day and day after out and in company but Saturdays weekly visit ended up and a blazing shouting argument where myself and my mum walked out. As soon as we got there getting snide remarks on not having visits or calls over xmas. We didn't bite. When leaving my mum went to kiss her and she blanked my mum (through sulking) when mum just walked off the shouting and screaming started accusing my mum of 'going off in a huff' and that she has a huge family and no one called, no one loves or cares.
I tried to reason with her saying she had 3 other kids and 6 other grandkids that never call or hardly go round and we visit every Saturday afternoon, it didn't work she said its only for 2 hours and can't wait to go home. The reason is our parting gift every visit is nasty, vile comments. She then rang my mum at midnight only to shout at her! (We left her at 5:30) My stepdad had a heart attack earlier in the year and my mamas comment to mum was ' well if anything had happened to him you would know what true depression was' .... When my grandad had 3 heart attacks 2 cardiac arrests and a triple bypass my mum moved in with her for weeks despite me being around 6 years old to help her! Every xmas she starts an argument with us. She old nasty and ungrateful. I haven't rang her over xmas for years so whys she starting this crap this year? Mum said she will still visit next week as its her mum but I'm the one who drives there as my mum doesn't drive and I really don't want to go. My children have said they don't want to go either they heard it all. She has been the same for years calling family members to each other, we cannot do anything to please. If I do go next week I want it out in the open to tell my mama another nasty comment and I will not come again as at present she says what she wants, hurts people yet we still show each week, there is no comeuppance to her actions! But how do I tell my mum this without upsetting her? I know she is only going as its her mother not out of love anymore. I'm just waiting for the horrible phone calls now for new years (my mum had this the other year and when she refused to answer the phone my mama left poisonous voicemails 🙄)
My grandma does not have mental illness or dementia she is just horrid! Apart from to the dodgy carer and her husband that can't get enough praise even though they have broke protocol, doing jobs for cash in hand, going round off shift and even taking her on holiday! They have been reported for these antics but seem to get away with everything. Is my best option to give her an ultimatum next week as I've had enough? One more argument, snide comment etc and I shall not come again. I'm only a grandchild and only 2 out of 8 of us go to see her.