So my mentally unstable brother went behind the back of the other siblings and had my mother sign over everything to him. I'm not upset by that but what I am upset about is that he has isolated her from the family and her friends.
She is 92 and he either has the ringer turned down on the phone or leaves the phone off the hook. We have all tried to contact her to see how she is but can't get a response; so we wind up calling the police to do a welfare check on her.
Come to find out that she is in a rehab center as of Sat and when we try to call there to speak to her we are told that the POA, my brother, only has himself on the list of people that can speak to her. I have contacted the lawyer who did the POA to have it revoked as my brother has isolated my mother from all of us.
Any ideas what else I can do?
Go over to the house to see your mother ... with a police escort.
I am sorry you and the rest of your family are having to go through this.
Gena / Touch Matters
I just went through this with my father. His medical care, his home healthcare and the unsanitary conditions of the home. When I arrived, unannounced, there was so much animal feces I could hardly breathe. It had stained the floors and there was a pet behind every door. There was four adults living there and a young g child that was neurologically damaged. My father laid dying jn the living room allegedly on comfort care - this is a DNR overreach as he was totally in medical neglect at this point. No IV, no nurse just disgusting.
No IV, had not ate, being medicated with OTC sleep meds. Well checks are useless as police and social workers have seen it all and can be very dismissive of the environment. In fact they had been to this home several times of]very the care the child was receiving. If I would have known, I would have pulled a court order and had a guardianship set up. His much younger wife disconnected all contact for him with his siblings and children leading up to 2 weeks before his death.
I do feel a lot of guilt over it and this is the best advice I can give to anyone in this situation.
and she be deemed unfit
Next if you think your brother coerced your mom into signing everything over to himself contact a qualified elder attorney. Best of luck to you. Some sibling are all about control & greed not the best interest of the elder.
No lawyer will do that because it's not legal. You have to provide proof of the abuse/neglect of PoA duties to an attorney, call APS, or both. The only person who can revoke the PoA is your Mom and she has to have legal capacity to do this. If you know Mom had an official medical diagnosis of incapavity when she reassigned it to your brother, then you may have a case. Whether you win or lose you will need to pay the lawyer.
Also, how do you know your Mom switch PoAs? Did your brother just tell you? Did your Mom tell you? Or did you see the actual paperwork? A PoA is not obligated to show you the paperwork but you can have an attorney send him a letter demanding he produce the document or else show up before a judge in court.
Caregiving is difficult mentally, emotionally, physically and financially on a stable person so your brother being mentally unstable is definitely not an acceptable plan for your Mom. She'd be better off in a facility.
Please note that a rehab facility is not the same as a AL, MC or NH and they may not be taking care of her hygiene or seeing that she eats and drinks enough if she is at all cognitively impaired. This is how it was for my 100-yr old Aunt with advanced dementia after she broke her hip and went to rehab. My cousin and my other Aunt had to go there every day to make sure she was getting the appropriate attention and care.
She is the one that has to revoke it.
BUT if you suspect that your brother is abusing mom in any way...financial, emotional, physical then you report that to the Elder Abuse Hotline number in the State where they live., You can also call a Senior Service Center where they live and report suspected abuse. the Senior Center will have a Social Worker that is a Mandated Reporter of Abuse.