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Hey folks, welcome to the new whine/general topic thread. Feel free to use this thread to discuss anything that is on your mind. Caregiving- related stuff, life after a loved one's death, your own emotional wellbeing. Whatever..........anything on your mind.

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Alva, yep, my neck of the woods is Tucson. We do have beautiful lightning storms during monsoon and we have had thunder all night, just awesome! I love the rain!!!

Tell your daughter and SIL thank you for bringing some of their wet weather with them, we so needed it.

I am just relaxing with a cuppa, listening to the rain fall, enjoying the 69° weather that this awesome weather is bringing.

Daisy, good luck to your hubby Monday. I pray it is no big deal.
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RealyReal, Daughter and SIL now have a condo in your neck of the woods. Was telling me about the beautiful lightening storm! They are now part time in Tucson.
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Dust! I feel ya Daisy, I remember all your posts about the noise, dust, traffic and over all fun that was. It's good to get it dealt with, don't forget your walls and ceiling :-/

Where I live, it is always dusty, then add a drought and you can see the air 100% of the time. I can dust in the morning and write my name in it that evening. Learning to not go crazy from it has been work :-)

However, we are getting monsoon rain, over 2 inches since 6pm last night, 1 inch that we got the 1st 45 minutes of the storm the next over 12 hours and it's still raining. Yahoo!!!! I will dust today and probably get a whole week of minimal dust. Rain is such a blessing in so many ways. Except I had to drain water out of the pool to avoid an overflow.

My heart still breaks for all those in Texas.
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So last spring they started replacing are village water lines, I live in a corner where all the lines meet up, so the dirt and dust was much worse on my corner. They finally finished it this spring, and I'm finally tackling the DUST . I mean, I kept are main rooms clean , I didn't become a complete slob, but I just couldn't keep up with it all. So some rooms I just gave up on. So anyways, this has been fun. 🫠and I'm getting some exercise in, and very happy to have one more room mostly dust free.
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Thanks Alva and isthisrealllyreal, will do!!

Monday is teeth pulling day, only 8 teeth left, so shouldnt be to awful. so that's going to be interesting. He has a regular physical the end the month.
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Daisy, good news!

I recommend witch hazel for prickly heat, that's what we call a humid, rubbed, heat rash. Spritz it on or use a cotton ball on clean skin and it is usually better in the morning.

I still recommend colloidal silver for any wounds, it is a great antibacterial and does so much to aid healing and keep any creepy bug from causing infection.

You are a good wife. Keep on taking care of that man of yours :-)
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Hi Alva, doc said a lot of tick bites do this, has a residual amount of poison left in them, they can itch and leave a mark for a very long time, and to just keep an eye on it. The other rash that I didn't mention, 😆 on his side, that had me freaked out, was from him wearing his work belt and scrapping paint in very humid temps.
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Hey, Daisy:
What's up with the "spider" bite?
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That's good, Daisy.
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Great, Daisy. I am glad you are on him like ants on honey.
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Thanks guys, I had 2 nurses look at it in my area, they think it's ok to wait till tomorrow and see how it is, and call the doctor tomorrow. 🙏💕
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Indeed fungal infections are very itchy and made worse by steroids,

Dasiy - I think this is a time for medical people to deal with it. Your hub has been very ill. Some infections are very tenacious and spread "underground". If I were you I would get him to medical,care asap. Let us know what happens. ((((hugs))))
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@Burnt:
Daisy's husband has BEEN on antibiotic since this bite to his back, Burnt, and indeed on IV antibiotics. He had a tick bite infection and was treated in hospital not long ago, before their recent vacation.
Of concern to me here is that this bite is still up to something. And it is hidden, much like a cat abscess. What can happen is that the surface looks OK, maybe swollen, but under there can be flesh getting literally destroyed.
Just needs to be seen, for sure.
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Daisy,

I was bitten by a spider many years ago. I cleaned it with alcohol and put some antibiotic cream on it and went to bed. It started to swell a bit then it gt red and felt hot. This redness and heat was spreading up my leg. I went to the ER and it's a good thing I did. The doctor had to clean it, give me two IV of antibiotics, and I had to go home wth a script to take more antibiotics for a month. Take your husband to the ER today and let them handle a spider bite.
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Daisy ,

I would stop the cortisone and other home remedies and have the doc check . Hubs may need an antibiotic for that bite . He doesn’t need sepsis again . Some skin infections can be really itchy . There is also ringworm , which is a fungal infection, that is very itchy and would need an anti fungal cream .
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Daisy, that is a long time for a problem still with a bite. I wouldn't use cortisone as it's steroid base will prevent healing. If this is still actively changing it needs seeing by dermatologist NOW and as that appointment may be hard to get soon I would consider urgent care provided by your Hospital. Speak to MD on Monday.
Here's the problem with spider bites. Much like a cat abscess which heals over and causes problems under the surface, spider bites often destroy tissue under the surface. That this is puffy could mean there is a crater of supurating matter under it that needs draining.

You can't play around with hubby at this point. He needs to be seem for this.
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Daisy, nothing you described indicates the need for a drawing salve.

I have personally experienced a wound that kinda swells around the scab and it is not an issue. Kinda a pickering from a deep wound.

If you are going to use a drawing salve, use a bandage so you can see what is being drawn.
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Isthisrealllyreal, I have heard of that stuff. I might try it, but you just Jared my memory!! I bought some Amish drawling salve , a few months ago. I might try that first. Completely forgot about I had it.
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Daisy, I would spray colloidal silver on it, it aids in healing and to keep it moisturized. Itching is an indication of healing and any moisture will help with that.

Our dermatologist recommends aquaphor for moisturizing any wounds, I prefer emu oil applied right on top of the silver. He is in agreement that it works well.
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The spot on hubs back , where he was bit. Is puffy with like a Crater inside, with a scab. Nothing I'm overly concerned with. Im going to keep an eye on it, it's smaller than a dime, bigger than a pencil. I'll probably check in with his doctor. Not red like infected, but really itchy. I put cortisone on it today. Any other suggestions, greatly appreciated.
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My sons not far , he is in Austin, he said it's been really hard. Saddest thing in a long time. 😥

Doggie mom, diamond art is fun!!
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I wanted to say I pray anyone living around Kerrville, TX is okay with the floods. I have been through Kerrville and know some dog breeders there (all okay). I know it will be a mess for all the folks who list their homes and important documents. I know the death toll will rise so praying for those families and the grief to come. I am good getting a new job and enjoying my hobby painting diamond art 🙂
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ITRR - I am having fun. It's work, but fun work. The results are very gratifying.. I've even got R "in the mood" and he suggested painting one small wall in his bathroom red! I say "Go for it!".It's going to look quite sharp!

After I broke up with ex I redid most of the house. I was quite pleased with it. Then the young adult kids started coming back home so that was the end of that. It never really recovered to where it had been for a short while. Maybe I can get this place to where I want it before I step on a banana peel.😉
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Golden, you make it sound fun!
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Alva - I like downsizing too and organizing, I'm going through my closet now and starting the 4th bag for the thrift shop. To be fair I have bought some clothes since I came here - more suitable for here somehow. Some furniture will be going and is being replaced by items that work better here and are good for storage.

cw - that's tough. Within 5-10 years something will likely happen to upset the precarious balance they have. Are there kids who would intervene?

R keeps stuff - you name it, he has it. But he is not good at organizing though he generally remembers where things are. So I am on an organizing kick for his bathroom - shelves and baskets, and storage units and next effort is for the "den" which is multifunctional - office for me, crafts for him, some tools, pantry, filing cabinet and so on. There are lots of units which will work well along the walls and set us up better. It's kinda fun!

Re keeping things, I just read that the Canadian govt requires us to keep forever birth and death certificates, marriage and divorces certificates, wills and a couple of others. Apparently they want you to pass them on to the next generation. I don't get this. Most of these certificates are kept by the government. I never did see mother's will -the lawyer had (has?) it and enacted it. I understand the concern for identity theft, so shred them, don't keep them. Tax stuff can go after 7 years. Like what's the point?
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My sister (75) is desperately stuck when it comes to downsizing. The house is anything but senior friendly (all stairs to multiple levels) and jammed to the rafters with decades of stuff (which she has real difficulty letting go of, IMO both of them have hoarder tendencies), but she and her husband can't agree on anything and she feels powerless.
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Golden,
I have LOVED downsizing.
All the jewelry that is family has already decades ago been given to daughter.
Photo albums, a lifetime of them torn down, duplicates and similars eliminated, others, boxe in small plastic boxes, one album made of my childhood, and etc. Down from just shelves and shelves to one small wicker trunk for my poetry, my pictures and old family pictures, anything like that.
And admonition on it "Look at it once and throw 99 44/100th out."

I have eliminated collections for profit when children don't want it--the McCoy likely the best investment I ever made.
Of my brothers "thing" I kept the first little carved dog my parents gave him for his Dog Collection; he kept it all his life; I will keep it for mine.
I am down to my Arkansas Roadside Tourist Pottery collection now, and guess what--Darling daughter just visited and took 1/2 of it with her on their first retired road trip between Washington State and their Condo in AZ and I get to see the stuff looking right at home now in AZ. I have stared at it long enough. It is mine in my head until I go. I don't need a s-load of it to hold me underground when I go. (actually being cremated).

When my parents died I wrapped all their albums and sent to my home from Missouri to Calfornia. The postal service did me the favor of losing the entire carton. My partner says "you would have looked at them once and no one else would ever care again. " He's right. The one album I DO wish I had is the one my mom made for my dad of all his old girlfriends. Wow, roaring twenties. The clothes! The cars!

I am good with letting it go. Even the beloved little glass cabin we built for ourselves in the country and maintained after retirement for 15 years. I am good with letting it go because it all is alive and well and I can close my eyes and walk those woods and hedgerows any old time I want.

I used to buy and collect books. Now it's the library and the few shelves I can't let go and someone else must give away (getting close tho).

I think I would love your FB group, Golden!!!
But lord forbid I get yapping anywhere other than where I AM yapping, all too late in the morning, right here!
What fun you have that group.
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I journal in Word on my computer and delete files and folders eventually. Which reminds me it is time to do another purge. Sometimes reading old writings helps me see that progress has been made and prayers answered.

On a different topic, I belong to a facebook group of women over 80 and recently a member asked about people's experiences downsizing and moving to a smaller place such as a seniors community. They, aged 85 and 90, didn't know how they could manage without their 4 cats, one bird, many many books and plants and a large garden. They do hire help for housecleaning and gardening. so they can stay in their home. Good luck to them. This query arose because their son was urging them the move to a smaller and more senior suited place. To me, if you can hire enough care, staying in your home is reasonable. But it does beg the question of who will dispose of it all when you are gone.

Note- this is no reflection on anyone here or a parent of anyone here who has chosen to stay in their home. It certainly in one of the options. I think of Elizabeth here and her husband. They have reasoned it through and are able to stay in their home and it is working for them.

There were many answers and the majority from people who had already downsized, most of whom were happy in their new arrangements. There are even senior communities where you can have a garden plot to work on. This group realised that they needed more support and that, as they aged, illness/bone breaks etc can happen and change life and capabilities very quickly, A few didn't like it and moved back to more independent living.

And then there were the stubborn minority. "I've lived here over 50 years and I'll only leave feet first," Of them, most felt they couldn't live without their books, plants, pets, garden, independence and so on. This is their life and they are going to live it the way they want to was the attitude.

Sound familiar?

Interestingly, there was very little talk from anyone about children (other than a few sons urging parents to downsize), and what their adult kids would have to deal with when their senior parent became incapacitated.

For the most part they are an upbeat group, though there are posts about depression, family problems and other illnesses. It's going to be interesting to see how people cope as. inevitably, they decline. It will be especially interesting to see what happens to those who are adamant about keeping everything and staying in their large homes.
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Alva’s post regarding not keeping old diaries for our kids to read about our lowest times is good advice . I never thought of how sad that would be to leave that for our children to find because I never keep what I have journaled for very long . I rip pages out of the spiral notebook and usually shred them . On occasion I have burned some .
I find disposing of them helpful in moving forward .
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THANK YOU to all. Your words help me greatly. ITRR, I went for a walk in the sun!
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