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Hey folks, welcome to the new whine/general topic thread. Feel free to use this thread to discuss anything that is on your mind. Caregiving- related stuff, life after a loved one's death, your own emotional wellbeing. Whatever..........anything on your mind.

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Welcome back CW
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BIL has endocarditis and will need antibiotics administered daily through a picc line for 6 weeks, after that there will likely be surgery to replace a deformed valve and aneurysm repair. He is home now but still very weak, and a battle to get a nurse to come out to their home to administer the antibiotics has already begun.
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CWillie,
Good to hear you got away.
Any news on your Bil?

Wish we all could just get away, take a moment to change our environment.
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Hi everyone, I've been away and am just catching up now - it looks like it has been busy the last few days.
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Book- you can do a homemade pie crust.
The secret is real butter and Lard.
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Go the actual recipe for Kentucky Fried Chicken today; from a You Tube video on how to cook with an air fryer..... yeaah! Going to try it in my oven.
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The ice cream cake with strawberry, chocolate, and coffee sounds good!
Sounds like a Christmas truffle/or is it a trifle? I don't know.
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Book,
Have some fun with this, be fearless. There are videos online demonstrating making pie crusts. Here is the idea for music:


Two years before Dorothy LaBostrie and Little Richard gave us the song, “Tutti Frutti” was just a humble pie filling published to help shoo away readers’ winter blues.

Bake any of these 1950s pie fillings in a 21st-century pie crust while dancing to versions of “Tutti Frutti” released in the decades between recipes: Elvis Presley (1956), The Jesters (1960), Marc Bolan, Elton John & Ringo Starr (1972), Queen (1986), Alvin and the Chipmunks (1991), Little Richard (Little Richard film, 2000), and Buckwheat Zydeco (2013).

Tutti Frutti pie, to the song of Tutti Frutti. You will be baking a classic!
The more I read, it seems you can add any fruit?

Definition for tutti frutti pie:
"Tutti frutti (from Italian tutti i frutti, "all fruits"; also hyphenated tutti-frutti) is a colorful confectionery containing various chopped and usually candied fruits, or an artificial or natural flavouring simulating the combined flavour of many different fruits."
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Home made pie crust. I've never ever did one. I usually just buy the graham cracker crust. So, just by this, I'm deviating from mom's recipe. I sure hope sis bought those ready-made crust because I'm not making it from scratch...

I'd rather make an ice cream cake - buy the coffee flavor ice cream, buy nuts, strawberry cake mix box, instant coffee (to make the ice cream flavor ice cream have a stronger coffee taste), plus sliced almonds and sliced fresh strawberries for toppings. I'd bake the strawberry cake. Cut it in thin layers horizontally, layer with ice cream, another layer of thin strawberry cake, top with ice cream, another final layer of cake... I Visualize this. How would it taste? I don't know. I'm not really much into baking/cooking. I don't even know if coffee and strawberry mix well in the taste department... Maybe best to do neopolitan ice cream with chocolate cake that has nuts in it? .. sigh.. I need to stop by the yogurt place and satisfy my chocolate/strawberry cravings. I'm obviously craving those 2 flavors.
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Hm, good point. There was a post on Thursday on the Dys thread - did she mention if she was going anywhere to anyone?
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So, where is CWillie?
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Tutti frutti pie sounds delicious, Book. How hard is it, how much baking involved?
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Fave niece was the one who would bake desserts for family gatherings. She's no longer here on island now. After a few past family gatherings, her mother (my fave sis) told me that BBQs are just not the same without homemade desserts.

My mom was famous for her delicious Tutti Frutti pies. She altered the recipe found in a cookbook and made it her own style. Whenever we went to family gatherings, she would put aside 6 pies - one for each of her siblings to take home .. and put 2 pies on the table. Everyone (even ex-in laws) have been asking me and sis if we have mom's recipe. I say, "I don't bake. Nope." … Sis has the recipe but keeps misplacing it.

Text from sis: Found the recipe for tutti fruity. You want to make Saturday when you stay night?

My response: You trust me? Haven't baked in decades.

Sis text back: Ahh. And I never baked.... I have all the ingredients.
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I can't imagine anyone not being kind to you Send! You are a sweetie!
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I don't want cliquey, but happy that you and CWillie are kind to me, friends really.
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I've started to notice my bldg. that I live in is cliquey and I don't think I'm in the clique. Oh well, their loss.
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I agree Send!
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I would rather know just a few good people, than know e v e r y o n e !
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CWillie,
Yes, I agree it is isolating for you. You have been very busy, out of the loop you might say. The Christmas season is a good time to reconnect with anyone whom you had to leave behind while caring for your Mom. If those people are someone you once enjoyed. Also, give it time to be making new friends.

You can do it! I cannot believe your post just sat here without being acknowledged
all this time! Where'd everybody go?

The caregiver's curse.....some will be wary to call you up.....a fact because no one knows how to approach someone who recently lost their loved one, how long should we wait if a person is in mourning? I do not know, and maybe others are hesitant. Hoping your social circle expands. Caregivers here are a part of your social circle, yes?

Wondering if other caregivers have experienced anything similar?
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I wanna complain about small town attitudes. More than once I've encountered people who have told me "I know everyone" - well no you don't, you don't know me, you don't know my extended family, you don't know my connections. When they say "I know everyone" they really mean they know everyone on the "A" list, those in their own social circle. And because everyone in their circle knows the movers and shakers of the community the assume that everyone has heard about the things that people need to know.
Case in point: yesterday the fire dept was cruising the streets looking for donations to the food bank. I did find a flyer about it in the mail that I picked up this morning (and yes I did pick up the mail earlier in the week). Yesterday I thought I had better check the church's Facebook page and it's a good thing I did because services were move to 8:30 rather than 11:00. Nope, I haven't been to church for 3 weeks. No, I have no contact with anyone else who might have warned me. Yeah, my social circle is minuscule. I do my best to try to seek out info on every web source I can find, but I still usually find out about stuff after the fact. It's so fricking isolating.
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Stones are touring in 2019
start me up 👅
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CWillie,
My mother is currently in the hospital and you get the same answer.
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I am home again. BIL is in the hospital having tests. So far they can't figure out what is wrong, I suppose that could be a good thing as it rules out the most obvious things that might plague a middle aged man. At least somebody is taking him seriously for a change, although I suspect he may be his own worst enemy - when asked by his brother (who came to get him off the floor) "how are you doing" he replied "I'm fine". 🙄
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Had a Snow Village [Dept 56] sitting in bins in the basement, and use to put up the village for the holidays. Then age creep in [now 70 something] so the trek up and down the basement stairs became too tiring plus the setting up everything. So the bins gathered dust.

I finally had a brain storm [about time] and asked my sig other's daughter if she would be interested in having the whole village. Oh my gosh, you'd think she won the lottery. So we loaded her car with the bins for her drive back up north. And as of yesterday, her pre-teen and teenage daughters had the village set up. They love it :)

It was a win-win for everyone.

I plan to keep holiday decor simple. I still use a fake 3 foot Christmas tree that my late Dad put together decades ago, using diodes as Christmas lights, and an old electric shaver cord to plug everything in. He was like Red Green :)
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You see? One can discover their lost childhood traditions being in community with others!
All it took was curiosity, and CWillie's statement: "Don't worry, it is not even advent yet".

I am liking all of this.
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Smeshque,
There are many things to rub on for pain.
My hubs physical therapist had recommended creams with menthol (a certain %) in it, but that stinks!
I had a bottle of "Two Old Goats" but threw it away (it was so old) after my knees were hot and bright red after using it the other day. Who knows now what was in it?
I do have many products with arnica in it, some work better for pain. If one is making their own, it needs the proper dilution into fractionated coconut oil.
I don't know what that is!! It is all so expensive! Try online for a recipe?
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Oh, thank you Boots!
That explains the mystery to me about the Advent calendar and celebrating Advent! I was, for a time, raised Methodist, received a Methodist bible (likely in summer church school). But since I forgot all that early childhood after my parents divorced, I just did not remember. I had wondered, many times, about the dedicated bible, and if I had made a confession of faith back then. And that Advent calendar has just been a mystery, still is,, after all these years.

Trader Joes is selling the Advent calendars for only 99 cents, but I wouldn't know what to do with it.
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I should have a look on YouTube, Smeshque.

I was offered some arnica cream for my son by his schoolfriend's father at a sports event when my son got bashed about a bit. Good for bruises, apparently. I remember it particularly because the man was Chairman of a major manufacturing company with links to armaments, and I'd never have guessed he'd be into homoeopathy.
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Is anyone familiar with Arnica oil? I have been introduced to this and I am going to make my own oil, just wondering if anyone else has made the oil.
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Send,
We are Methodists and have celebrated Advent candle lighting on each Sunday before Christmas. Now you are forcing me to look up what it really means after 56 years lol! We have a log candle holder for the little candles that I made in 5th grade. It's the 4 preceding Sundays before Christmas that you light a candle for each week until Christmas. That's all I know.
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