Can pretending life is calm really help?

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Because real life sure isn't. Every day it stressful, anxiety producing, unsettling, at least part of the day. I guess it would be like meditating. Shoving reality away for a bit.

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Hadnuff,
Were you able to see the full supermoon the last three nights?
If you go outside tonight, it may still be super! Close to the earth, awesome, bigger than us and comparing our lives to nature can lift us up.

The moon appears calm...but close-up it may not be so....kind of like our problems close-up. If we step away, talk to someone....how are you feeling today?
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Do you have close friends or family members that you can discuss things with? Have you talked to anyone besides the people online who suggest you explore options for your husband's care. I might explore what others think and even get a professional opinion, so you can figure out what is causing the extreme anxiety and if it's due to the situation or something else.

What does his doctor and your doctor think of how things are going and how you are having so much distress? Do you think your level of mental distress would be less if you didn't have so many demands for your husband's around the clock care?

Are there any other options that might lighten your load and still provide your husband excellent care?
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YES.
And take each moment and each task and difficulty and each meal and everything else, one moment at a time. Give it your full attention.
Go outside for a few minutes and take deep breaths...it changes reality and renews you.
Before going on scripts, try your local health food store and ask for natural ways....a half hour walk does wonders, in a big park even better....if you can't leave the house, start a yoga practice from Babaji's Kriya Yoga (it's gentle and effective)....start a journal, be brutally honest and make sure to keep it in a safe place....processing change takes time.....all the best to you!
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Hadnuff, I know when I first started taking a prescription med for take the edge off, I was surprised I had to combine it with an anti-depressant. It can take some trial and error to find the right mix. I know I had to go through 3 sets of different meds before finding something that did help.

And I also do talk therapy with a woman who is around my age who had to deal with an aging Mom a few years ago, so she really does understand :)
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I think you should calm down a bit, and may be visit a psychiatrist . Take care.
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Barbara, are you seeing a therapist for talk therapy? Antidepressants work best in combination with talk therapy to change thinking patterns.
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I agree that getting out of the habit of negative thinking helps. Negative thinking produces anxiety. When everything is urgent, nothing is urgent.

Knowing the difference between wants and needs, between something being essential and "would be nice", takes practice. Learning to say "no" and "not right now" will help you to manage expectations, both yours and those of others.

And ask questions of people who are demanding too much of you. Many people, including health care workers, will have unrealistic expectations of you. Push back and be frank about what you can and cannot do, what your limitations are, and what the reality of your situation is.

Finally, Xanax can take the edge of when things really do all bubble over.

Does all this sound realistic/doable? You have friends on this forum. We are pulling for you!
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Klonopin is something to consider.

Go to your psychiatrist and ask for your dosages to be reviewed. You are under a lot of stress, Barbara. You deserve good medical care.
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Meds alone will not fix it. You have to recognize the stress triggers, the dark obsessions and redirect your thoughts to happier times and places. One way to do that is to move him to professional care so you can breathe.
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Im on 60 mgs of prozac. Trying to get something like zanax to add to it. Had Zanax but stopped working.
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