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I had five or six months of constant stress with moms problems. Then she died. And I was stressed about setting up a Shiva, and all the stuff I had to do as executor of her estate. Complicated by my impossible brother and having to get stuff in his name or his special needs trust name. Still working on moms stuff four and a half months later when my husband can't sleep even sitting up. Take him to emergency room. He is in hospital three days. Then transferred to hospital in another city. For open heart surgery. Six hours after surgery he has stroke. I stayed with him in hospital for two weeks before he was released to rehab. Got rides to rehab every other day. Never knowing who was going to be able to take me till day before. Steve had constant problems in rehab. This sounds exhausting just writing it. Any suggestions on how to recover? Things are getting better now. But all that went before is still affecting me.

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All excellent ideas above. When you are under so much emotionally, it really can take a toll on your mind and body. I'd try to ease out from some of the pressure.

I'd might try to delegate more tasks. If finances permit, I'd retain an attorney to help with most of the paperwork. A competent, experienced attorney and their staff can handle many things for you, with your approval and signature of course.
Having so many things on your plate is bound to create lots of stress.

And I'd do the same with the on hands care giving. I'd delegate as much as possible, like cleaning, laundry, errands, etc.
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Hadnuff, if you haven't already, please make an appointment to see your primary doctor and ask him/her if there is some medicine that can help take the edge off. You'd be surprise what a difference it can make.

I've been so stressed out over the years that I had crashed and burned. Now if anything pops up that would stress me big time, my attitude now is "whatever". Oh what a relief it is.

I know what you mean about dealing with trying to close an estate. Today I had my first visit at the County Courthouse for probate. I was handed a ton of papers to which I will hand over to my Dad's Elder Estate Attorney as she will complete the paperwork... she will be worth every penny spent :)
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Excellent suggestions. You have to build things for you into your life in a daily basis - as much as possible during stress and then afterwards.

You have been through a great deal and it will take months, and maybe years to recover, Some things you go through you never get over, but you develop a new normal in your life. All that went before is part of you now and I doubt you will go back to being the person that you were before. That does not meant that you cannot have a good life, but likely it will be a somewhat different one. Spend time on you - relaxing, hobbies, exercise, being with friends etc. Help the new you to emerge. Be sure to get enough rest, eat properly and keep yourself hydrated. Cry when you need to. Therapy is a very good idea. Do keep us updated on how you are doing. ((((((hugs)))))
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I do vent to online friends. And am thinking of starting my journalling again. I used it for many years because of the stress from grandmother and mother. Guess I need to do more for me each day.
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See your Rabbi. They are wonderful sources of inner peace.
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Hadnuff - I have seen several of your posts over the past year or so - and I know you are dealing with a lot of stress. I will share what I saw my wonderful stepmother do - she had over seven years of similar stress with older relatives, my dad, and her kids. She made sure she had regular therapy sessions - talking with someone helped her immensely and it was a safe environment. She also made sure she had people she could chat with over the phone (my dad eventually could not be left alone at all) who would listen and let her vent and cheer her up. I have an offbeat sense of humor and often we would be laughing about the awfulness of incontinence and dementia etc. It helped her get it out. She also worked with the local county to qualify for caregiver respite twice a week where she got out with friends. The caregiver respite was not nursing care, but people who would come in for two hours at a time to sit with dad. She no longer could leave dad for her daily walks, so she got some Yoga DVD's and while he slept she would do a daily yoga work out. She took up knitting so that she had a hobby when dad was asleep.

My stepmom would tell me she needed something several times a day just for herself to recharge enough to keep going. My dad needed full time care and was not yet in a nursing home at the end and she couldn't leave him at all. It was very stressful and she went into it knowing she needed to find small ways at home to de-stress. Good luck to you. I think coming to this site might continue to help also!
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