I know my Mom hurts and there is not much else we can do but how do I get her to try and do things to try and take her mind off of the pain or even take a shower Seems like she fights me on everything.

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Darla, it's tough getting older. I see from your profile that your Mom is 84. She has lived a long time, she is probably tired, and like you said she hurts from aches and pains. She can't do things she use to do, like hop in the car to go shopping, or to a movie, or out dancing... and whatever other things she like to do. That can make anyone grumpy.

I see that your Mom lives in Independent Living with your Dad. Does your Dad like to do things? Is there anything the facility has that either one or both would enjoy doing? Like date night with a Friday evening movie at the facility [if available]? Is your Dad also grumpy, or does he just do things on his own?

Don't forget some medicines can zone someone out. Blood pressure pills are big time zoners, I remember having my cardiologist change the dosages so I wouldn't fall asleep at my desk. Then add in other meds that also can make one sleepy. No wonder our elders nap so much !!!

Are there other relatives? My cousin use to call my Dad at least twice a month and yak for an hour, Dad really enjoyed that. Two other cousins use to do the same. They all would send greeting cards and emails.
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Do you know if her pain is being adequately treated? Or does she suffer with depression? I'd discuss it with her doctor to see if you can pinpoint what is going on. Medication can sometimes help. Other times, seniors just get tired and aren't interested in activities that we think are amusing. As long as she's content and safe, I think I'd let her do what she wants to do and not bother her.
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