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So my exes mom just wont give up on trying to force me to help her which I wont do. Her legs are completely open green wounds that would make someone like me just throw up. She threw her hha under the bus and blamed her...no suprise there. On friday, i got a call because "Ms. Competence" was getting out of a different rehab facility than usual and they are trying to push her care on me. The old facility knew better.


I have my happy little life and at the moment i think i dont have to deal with the drama anymore, i get a call and i just blow up. So when is enough...enough?

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Today has just been bad. I went to the doctor and just blew up on him for being stupid. First he tells me i have abnormal cells in my girl parts that have to be froze off and tested...then he brings up my mental health over her. Uh yeah, you took me off antidepressants and zanex cold turkey because of a bs pstd diagnosis and her word. Hmmm, after weeks of throwing up and withdrawl from addicitive drugs, ya think maybe i should take them again. Yeah, f*ck you. I left the doctor, went to lawyer who was going to call aps worker. Then ole Dirty added me back to lifeline and these stupid massachusette calls kept coming all day. I blew up on them. It really sucks throwing up all day because of the drama. So i am just going to take tomorrow off from the real world to make cookies and hopefully i will feel better.
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Tacy, how're you doing?
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I know this thread is 2 months old but would love to know how it went. Did a copy of the "cease and desist" order go to rehab administration? This is where it needs to go if she continues to give them your info. Your an ex for a reason. My exSIL was married to my brother for 25 yrs and saw my Mom once in the last 3 yrs. I would think that you could draft a letter telling these facilities that you have no obligation to this woman since ur no longer with her son. Once that is done, it's harassment on the facilities side.
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tacy - just keep your boundaries up. I am so sorry that this lot struck again. Not your circus, not your monkeys.
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Btw, when i am told she has been declared incompetent by one dr. And refuses the other eval because shes competent, it makes matters worse.
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Yes, I wish it was a zombie apocolypse because I would know what to do. Yes, i have had a lawyer for a while now. The lawyer received pics of her legs a while back i about threw up....green psuedomonis..it was gross. I called the dumbass over today and he told me medicare cut her off from skilled care because of her abuse yu overusr but shes comptent so everyone is f* ked.
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Tacy, do you have a lawyer?
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Tacy, these people remind me of Upsetsister's family (over on the dysfunction thread). It's kinda like the zombie apocalypse, no matter how many ways you cut them off at the knees they keep rising from the dead to attack again. Sorry.
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Well, the antichrist hit again. I was at work today by APS called after a visit because her worker turned people in because she doesnt have heat during the day...of course its me not her family...they love her. After i completely tore apart the APS worker verbally for contacting me, then forwarding emails from lawyer, etc. I am ready to blow.
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Reaching out to your son was a low blow. That crew has caused him enough pain already.
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Glad to hear you're laughing- it's the only way to fly, in my opinion.

Brandy filled chocolates, huh? I like brandy and I like chocolate but I'm just not loving the idea of the two together. Have they arrived?  How are they? Gotta love the implication that you can be bought with a little sugar and booze. It'd sure take a h*ll of a lot more booze to forgive or more preferably - forget that group of whack jobs!

Good for your son for not letting them manipulate him to assuage THEIR own guilt. I know most would say "forgive" or "it's not heathy to hold a grudge, blah, blah, blah..." But I think sometimes holding a grudge is natures way of keeping yourself from getting EFF'd-over again by the same people.

I have to say, I'm still utterly amazed at the nerve of this group! Hard to believe people can be so completely clueless and/or have such distorted views of their own grandeur. Were they ever "normal"?
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Scaredtaker said, about a year ago....

"In conclusion, I demand the fairy of freaking happidom rectify (ha ha I said RECTify) this fecal tsunami called my life and sprinkle it with a potpurri of enough is enough."
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Tacy, i think PPO is Canadian term for restraining order.

Sometimes folks get the family they deserve. Just protect yourself.
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Tacy, i think PPO is Canadian term for restraining order.
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Rainmom, I am good just confused I guess. Yesterday, my lawyer wasnt in so I called the facility and told them Dirty Gerty was not my responsibility and faxed them a copy of the letter sent to previous facility and told them I could have my lawyer send a letter specifically to them but they said it wasnt necessary...they were not aware of the situation. The crazy sister in Germany texted me all two faced and is sending Brandy filled chocolates "for the inconvenience and shes so sorry about her brothers." They had called and emailed my son while she was in ICU trying to pull the guilt trip about how he needed to make amends before she died...which will not ever happen too many burned bridges. Her worker called me because she used to take care of the old guy and she lost her job over the families lies. I wrote her a letter of recommendation based on her care for him and hired her to answer phones and file for me until she gets a different job...its that karma thing and I was thrown under the bus too.

Barb, you are correct the best thing for her is to be in a facility but with their track record, they will say they are caring for her, she will not be cared for and she will be back in the hospital. The unending circle of stupidity.

Ok, in my post I specifically said I received a voicemail and a ceast and desist letter...not a PPO, please dont put words in my mouth or psychoanalyze me. I think you do not realize I find this situation so stupid you need to laugh at it.
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How you doing, Tacy?
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P.S. This woman isn't worth crying over. Go watch something fun on TV, or take a nice walk, go to your favorite coffee shop, or do whatever is your happy place! You deserve to be happy!!!!
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Wait, I missed that - you have a RESTRAINING ORDER against this woman? Oh, wow - yeah, I think all you need to do is present that to whoever is trying to rope you into caring for her. I just...wow. (And that's not a "wow" about the order, that's a "wow" about the violation of it.)

I'm so sorry, Tacy. ::hugs::
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Tacy, I get it.
Two options:
First and professional: your agent of service please, you are violating a restraining order as Mrs. Gangrene's agent.
Option two: new phone. Who dis?!?
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I agree with all of the above, and I don't even know the rest of your story! I recommend one simple thing:

Change your phone number.

Seriously.  Also, remember that "No" is a complete sentence. My family is extremely toxic, and very drama oriented. However, they can only draw you in if you let them. It took a few years of me saying "No" to my toxic family, and not allowing myself to be guilted, but they eventually gave up, and now they leave me alone. But I would still be in the thick of it if I said yes again, even once!

Hope you can find peace, and get out of this situation entirely!
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I'm going to be even tougher than Katie, who gave solid but kind advice. And I'm going to be blunt; I've seen too many of these posts when MIL has upset you and caused disruption in your life.

Why is this even an issue at all? Your posts reflect a self justification why you can't or shouldn't be involved in her care. So I ask again, WHY is this an issue? Just saying NO can be hard but it has to be done.

Turn, the page, close the MIL book, move on and don't look back. And don't justify why you can't, just decide you WON'T. I think that's the weak point here is that you still feel you need to justify not getting involved.

Ask yourself the counterpoint - why SHOULD you get involved? It's not your problem anymore.

And I assume you're aware that they're playing you - manipulating you, creating a guilt trip. So stop letting them "jerk your chain."

Sometimes blunt talk is necessary. You need to get this woman out of your life. And stop letting her contact you if you have some kind of PPO. Let the police handle her.
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If this was me, I would not even answer the phone when they call. If I don't recognize the number...let it go to voice mail...then delete it as soon as you know who it is. If they call at work, do not even let the first 5 words come out of their mouth..chew them a new one for daring to call you at work..and hang up. Do not engage in any conversation.

This party is over. You served your time in h*ll. Do not even let the conversation start.

Oh...and since she is violating a court order...it moves from civil matter to criminal.   Breach of that cease and desist order is criminal contempt of court.   Call the police.
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Tacy; the operative thing here (besides ex and everything ELSE that has been said by the above folks) is that if there is no one "responsible" at home to care for her, she CAN'T come home, thank the Lord.

That means she gets to stay in the facility and get real care.

That's a good thing, right?

Why would you even want to think about enabling her to come home and eat butter?
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Lol CM, Mrs. Gangrene!!!! LOL
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Tacy, surely the operative word here is "ex"???

New and gullible health care teams call you and say Mrs Gangrene has named you as her responsible family member, you say: "you have been misinformed. This is my EX partner's mother and it is not appropriate for me to be involved in her care."

Heavens, it's only true!
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Dear Tacy,

I feel for you. It sounds like you've had more than enough. I know its hard sometimes to distance yourself but it is must to protect your own mental and physical well being. I just wanted to add my support.

I use to be the go-to person for everyone, my mother, my father, my grandmother, my sister, my nephew. And since my father's passing, I just give up. I've had enough. The pain of grief is all I can handle.

I hope your ex mother in law can find another caregiver or social services can help her.
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"She is not my responsibility. I cannot care for her."
"She is not my responsibility. I cannot care for her."
"She is not my responsibility. I cannot care for her."
"She is not my responsibility. I cannot care for her."

Kind of a catchy mantra, huh?
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Tacy - oh, I remembered the butter. Just thought it would have been redundant in already having made my point.

Now - dry your eyes. She - they - aren't worthy of one tear. The last tear shed should be left with your "old man" and his passing.

Call your attorney in the morning- first thing. And then just leave the rest up to him.

Sheez!!! The utter gall of some people. Whether ex-mil can go home or not, is not your problem. They refused to treat you properly- now they have to deal with the consequences of their choices and behaviors. Just like all us regular folk, right?
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Lol Rainmom... not to mention when she ate sticks of butter like snickers bars with a whole blueberry pie and told drs i was purposely making her sick, her eating feces and epson salt and lying so her son Mr Big Stuff so he gave me a concu ssion. I am in the middle of 3 audits at work, software conversion so I am at work at least 70 hours a week and I am finally off anxiety and depression medications and I am at a "normal weight". I was floored when I listened to my voicemail Friday night. I cant stand the b!tch but unless she has someone "responsible" she couldnt come home. I had already served her personally with a cease and desist order she must have conveniently forgot and my lawyer not open for the weekend. Honestly, I am venting...I am tired of it and I dont cry but have now for 2 days.
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Tacy - pleeeze tell me you're not even considering doing this!

Do you really want to re-live the salt eating experience?

Or

The time she threatened to pee on the kitchen floor and then did it because she couldn't have her way?

Or

The fact she drove her husband- someone you loved and cared for - into the grave.

Or

When she accused your son of stealing her medication and it messed him up so bad he wasn't able to go to his college classes.

Or

The time they tried to launder fraudulent insurance money through YOUR bank account

Seriously?

Cause if your just a glutton for punishment - I'll send you a plane ticket and you can come clean the grout in my bathroom- I'm sure that would be less disgusting than gaping, draining, pus filled sores. AND - I would actually appreciate your efforts. Which is more than you'd get from ex-MIL and her codependent, enabling offspring.

RUN, GIRL, RUN!!!
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