When enough is enough....

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So my exes mom just wont give up on trying to force me to help her which I wont do. Her legs are completely open green wounds that would make someone like me just throw up. She threw her hha under the bus and blamed her...no suprise there. On friday, i got a call because "Ms. Competence" was getting out of a different rehab facility than usual and they are trying to push her care on me. The old facility knew better.


I have my happy little life and at the moment i think i dont have to deal with the drama anymore, i get a call and i just blow up. So when is enough...enough?

33 Comments

When you feel it is, and,in your case that was a while ago. Stick to your guns, and stay detached. Keep your bp down!
Sounds like you've reached the point of enough.

Try to avoid blowing up, if you can, for your own sake. Just repeat calmly and persistently, "She is not my responsibility. I cannot care for her." Keep saying it.

How is it you are assumed to be the caregiver for your ex's mother? Where is this ex?
The woman has been in the hospital for three days...medicare minimum 6 times in the last 3 months for infections. Medicaid is providing waiver based services and insists she can make decisions which she cant. She wants to remain home but cant. This has been unending fights over her rights vs. mine. I guess I am tired of people trying to force her wishes on me when I am content not being involved. I was told she is limited on home care due to noncompliance and I had to do woumd care at least twice a day. The thought sickens me. I should add, the doctors keep doing procedures for her legs through the groin area so my ex believes he shouldnt have to take care of it... she is comfortable with me and I am not comfortable with it.

Tacy - pleeeze tell me you're not even considering doing this!

Do you really want to re-live the salt eating experience?

Or

The time she threatened to pee on the kitchen floor and then did it because she couldn't have her way?

Or

The fact she drove her husband- someone you loved and cared for - into the grave.

Or

When she accused your son of stealing her medication and it messed him up so bad he wasn't able to go to his college classes.

Or

The time they tried to launder fraudulent insurance money through YOUR bank account

Seriously?

Cause if your just a glutton for punishment - I'll send you a plane ticket and you can come clean the grout in my bathroom- I'm sure that would be less disgusting than gaping, draining, pus filled sores. AND - I would actually appreciate your efforts. Which is more than you'd get from ex-MIL and her codependent, enabling offspring.

RUN, GIRL, RUN!!!
Lol Rainmom... not to mention when she ate sticks of butter like snickers bars with a whole blueberry pie and told drs i was purposely making her sick, her eating feces and epson salt and lying so her son Mr Big Stuff so he gave me a concu ssion. I am in the middle of 3 audits at work, software conversion so I am at work at least 70 hours a week and I am finally off anxiety and depression medications and I am at a "normal weight". I was floored when I listened to my voicemail Friday night. I cant stand the b!tch but unless she has someone "responsible" she couldnt come home. I had already served her personally with a cease and desist order she must have conveniently forgot and my lawyer not open for the weekend. Honestly, I am venting...I am tired of it and I dont cry but have now for 2 days.
Tacy - oh, I remembered the butter. Just thought it would have been redundant in already having made my point.

Now - dry your eyes. She - they - aren't worthy of one tear. The last tear shed should be left with your "old man" and his passing.

Call your attorney in the morning- first thing. And then just leave the rest up to him.

Sheez!!! The utter gall of some people. Whether ex-mil can go home or not, is not your problem. They refused to treat you properly- now they have to deal with the consequences of their choices and behaviors. Just like all us regular folk, right?
"She is not my responsibility. I cannot care for her."
"She is not my responsibility. I cannot care for her."
"She is not my responsibility. I cannot care for her."
"She is not my responsibility. I cannot care for her."

Kind of a catchy mantra, huh?
Dear Tacy,

I feel for you. It sounds like you've had more than enough. I know its hard sometimes to distance yourself but it is must to protect your own mental and physical well being. I just wanted to add my support.

I use to be the go-to person for everyone, my mother, my father, my grandmother, my sister, my nephew. And since my father's passing, I just give up. I've had enough. The pain of grief is all I can handle.

I hope your ex mother in law can find another caregiver or social services can help her.
Tacy, surely the operative word here is "ex"???

New and gullible health care teams call you and say Mrs Gangrene has named you as her responsible family member, you say: "you have been misinformed. This is my EX partner's mother and it is not appropriate for me to be involved in her care."

Heavens, it's only true!
Lol CM, Mrs. Gangrene!!!! LOL

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