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my 90-year-old father has four caregivers two during the day and two at night… My brother has the power of attorney and basically uses the caregivers to dig into my life and in addition to that has delegated all of his duties and responsibilities to one of the caregivers and of course, the caregivers all speak with one another, and they all know about my father’s affairs financial situation my personal information my brother’s personal thoughts about me as a human being, which are completely a defamation of my character as in addition to being untrue… Has now gotten the four caregivers to lie to back up his story to keep me away from my father who I’ve been visiting and spending time with for seven years while my brothers don’t call the POA doesn’t call doesn’t visit doesn’t do anything to better my father‘s life… Isn’t involved in my father‘s care except for trying to make me look bad… I know that the law states that a POA doesn’t have to talk to or communicate with or visit the parent that they are the POA for … Which seems really strange for the fact that he professed how much he loved and cared for both my mom and my dad when he took the POA… And the POA that was signed by my mother was signed when she was extremely demented and could barely even sign her initials and definitely had no clue what she was signing… I have now been kept away from my father for four days physically… I’ve been able to speak to him one time on the phone I have recorded all the times that my phone calls have been forwarded to voicemail… And the lies just continue on and on… I’m going tomorrow to get the police report… My nursing license is being jeopardized by the fact that they called ADULT PROTECTIVE SERVICES based off of lies… I’d like to know how to find out what the status is of that report… In addition to getting the public copy of the 911 call that was made… One of the caregivers has her daughter, her adult daughter, calling me making all types of accusations calling me all types of names this that and the other… all I want is to see my father and my father has been scripted what to say to me, and when I called him, I am for sure that the Caregiver that was there was recording my conversation with my dad (I could hear the echo on her cell phone ) which I don’t really care about except for the fact that she had no right to do that… What can I do… I haven’t eaten in days… I can’t sleep… I miss my father… He is fighting Covid right now… And at best being able to talk to him on the phone, which is not the best for me or for my dad since he has two sons who never come and visit or call on the phone… In addition to the fact that they are threatening that if I don’t make a complete and entire list of the items that I left at my father‘s house during my move to move 10 minutes away from my father versus 140 miles away from my father that my items are in jeopardy of being tossed… Which before my mother was even buried, they had thrown away nearly an entire garage full, and my mother’s side of the closet full of items… They have removed items out of the home that belong to the estate, which I’ve been informed is a violation of the POA… I’ve heard from a lot of people that these type of situations are actually extremely common… The whole toxic sibling situation… I don’t know what else to do… I’ve not been served with papers… I have a brother at the house right now who has an extremely terrifying psychiatric history which I have the folder to back up that statement… And I don’t believe that he should be around my father… As he’s punched holes in my father‘s wall within the past four years and assaulted me once… I took him to court, and the judge said that there was no assault, even though I had a video of it… Every time the police are involved for some reason my brothers are excused from their actions and I’m the one asked to leave… Are they paying the police department off? Seriously… What can I do… I would die if my father passed before I could hang

If my license was in jeopardy I think I would just walk away. You brother has all the power here. He is probably the Executor too. It would cost you thousands for a lawyer, then you may not win. For now step back. Give yourself and everyone a breather. Let things calm down. Then approach you brother and tell him you just want to see Dad. You will not worry about anything else because your realize brother is in charge. You will just visit Dad and say nothing to the aides.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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My brother who is POA is preventing me from visiting my father in addition to having my calls to my father blocked. He is coercing my father. - AgingCare.com
Above is RainPebbles first message to us, of several days ago. Those attempting answer should read both questions.

Rainpebble, yes, I think if you have a nursing license that you may well be in jeopardy if you are reported to the nursing board. You should take that very seriously indeed.

I think, given your first question to the Forum and now this one, that you should consult a good cognitive therapist. I think you may be in great danger, due to this ongoing familial trauma and your own frustration, of serious breakdown.
It's time to get help.

There is nothing a Forum of strangers can do for you.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Can you tell us exactly what he is supposed to be doing as the POA that the caregivers are taking care of?

Knowing about dad's finances isn't taking care of them and your brother is violating the law if he is sharing the information without your dad's consent but, what specific thing do they know?

I would encourage you to breathe and regroup before you speak to any official, whether LEO, A0S or an attorney because you are totally coming across in your posts as unhinged and nobody is going to deal with you when you are acting that way.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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AlvaDeer Jul 9, 2025
This is rainpebble's second note to us, RR. I don't do a good link copy/paste, but it is prominent in the thread now.
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