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My husband turns 79 today. He had a major stroke 5 years ago in November. He must urinate 20 times daily and knows where the toilet is most of the time. Out of nowhere, he will pee all over the bathroom floor near the toilet, on the carpet in our bedroom or living room, in the laundry basket, and even in the garage. I don't understand the behavior.

The situation you describe sounds like having a geriatric, walking newborn baby, but worse.

I honestly cannot imagine being able to tolerate more than a few nights of him going ”to the bathroom all night, about every 5 to 10 minutes, 15 to 20 times starting at about 02:00 a.m…..He pees on the floor when I have finally passed out and am not watching him. Then he sleeps all day”

If a medical solution cannot be found (treating a UTI? Sedatives to make him sleep?) and he can’t **quickly** adapt to Depends and not waking you up and not peeing on the floor, then if it were my husband, I would have to say either separate bedrooms and a night nurse (though I doubt this would work!) or a facility would be the only options. I really think I would have a mental/ emotional breakdown trying to deal with the sleep deprivation and constant cleaning otherwise.
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Reply to Suzy23
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To be quite honest this sounds like dementia.
It may be time to fully explore whether or not you can sustain one on one care for your husband. Missing the toilet can be just the lack of always being a straight-shooter, but peeing out in the garage is another behavior entirely.

Wishing you the best of luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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careingforhubby May 29, 2025
I can not see myself ever doing that to the one I love. Though it is a challenge and a lot of work, I will always find a way around the problems unless my health starts to fail and I can no longer do so.
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Has your husband been diagnosed with dementia? maybe Vascular dementia?
What you are describing can be part of dementia.
Sometimes the brain does not connect as to what needs to be done.
While he may use the bathroom most of the time you need to begin to get him up and remind him to go to the bathroom at least every 2 hours.
And you should go with him so that you can redirect him if he veers off course.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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careingforhubby May 29, 2025
Well, they say that some amount of dementia is related to major strokes. So, due to his ischemic stroke, he acquired some amount of dementia.
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Incontinence/peeing a lot is one of the first symptoms of vascular dementia, and since your husband had a stroke 5 years ago, he may very well now have it.
It may be worth taking him to his neurologist to see what their thoughts are.
And in the mean time you may want to get your husband some Depends for him to now wear, along with escorting him to the bathroom every little bit so you can make sure that he's peeing in the toilet and not everywhere else.
It sounds like he has some form of dementia, and if that is the case, your husbands brain is now permanently broken and sadly will only get worse, so best to get your legal ducks in a row, along with educating yourself about this horrific disease of dementia, so you are better prepared for what is to come.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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careingforhubby May 29, 2025
He is insured through the V.A., and I have tried for years to get him checked out by a neurologist, but it never seems to happen. They even gave him a mere 10% disability without knowing exactly what it was about. So they decided that he had a cerebral infarction as a secondary service-related disability due to hypertension from exposure to Agent Orange.
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