My husband urinates a lot, all over bathroom floor at night. He has Lewy Body & Alzheimer’s. Has anyone else had this problem?

My mother knew me and my husband and her grandkids too when she lived in Memory Care Assisted Living. She was there because her advancing dementia along with her ugly temperament created a situation which required others to care for her needs in a controlled environment. No way she would have pulled as many ugly stunts on "her girls" in memory care than she'd have pulled on ME, that's for sure.

Give your husband a mop and a bucket to clean up after himself. If he can't or won't, it's off to Memory Care Assisted Living for HIM. Enough is enough, and you're not his slave.

No longer knowing people is not the yardstick by which you measure the need for memory care. Most of the people in my rother's MC knew their family members. It was all the other issues that came with dementia that led to them being placed there.

Your husband has several of those issues.

Have you given him the cleaning supplies and told your "okay" hubby, have at. If he is doing it with malice this could stop it, knowing he's the one that will be cleaning up.

You know him best and I believe that a dementia patient can and does mean stuff intentionally. Only the boots on the ground can determine if it is just ugliness or if it is broken brain or both.

Being kind and patient while you are testing the waters is really important, even when it is really hard. Broken brains are hard to sort out, I found giving my dad the benefit of the doubt was hard, mostly because of past behaviors.

You know what the right thing to do is. You got this.

I want to address what funkygrandma said down below in a response.

I totally get what you mean. I had 2 grandma's that both suffered from dementia, one went from okay on Friday to pretty much full blown (fast grandma), late stage dementia on Monday, another took the slower route (slow grandma) over multiple years, yet both of them were loved right through the end of their days and they were and are missed.

I would love one more game of catch with my slow grandma, we giggled together doing this and even though she was basically gone at the end, for many months, something got through to her and I believe it was the love.

I would also love to hug my fast grandma again, she lost that notion, desire, ability??? in the early days of her journey and I missed those hugs when they were gone. Hers was the kind of dementia that left nothing but an empty shell of a human body, for nearly a decade.

When we actually live it we have such a different understanding of it all. We understand that love makes a difference in the life of everyone involved.

May you be comforted knowing one day you will get one more unto eternity. Great big warm hug! You are truly a testimonial to the power of love. Your husband was very blessed when he found you.

Both of you need assisted living if you want to have any quality of life. You are in poor health and your husband is only going to get worse. He likely should have been in AL long before now. I’m not sure how more terrible this has to get before you let go of any stubbornness or pride and accept AL for both of you.

I'm very sorry you're having this problem.

"He is not to the point that he doesn’t know anyone or his surroundings so putting him in memory care seems premature."

I understand how you feel, but you're operating from a premise that is no longer valid. You're basing your thinking on the fact that he still knows you, family and where he is. But you've left out the obvious, which is that if his behavior is not acceptable, THAT'S the reason to put him in memory care. Memory care is more than just memory care. It's whole-person care for when the patient has inappropriate behavior, or eating issues that require tending, or any other problem that goes along with this condition.

It's unlikely you can "break" a habit of a person with dementia. They can't reason, understand, or remember the problem long enough to change their behavior. You might as well forget about that solution. It's doubtful that this is passive-aggressive. It's that his brain can't function normally. Instead of trying to change what isn't changeable, you need to realistically accept what is.

"...just until he really gets worse."
If peeing rivers in the wrong place isn't "worse," what is? Where would you draw the line?

"Assisted living wouldn't work because I couldn't have people around all the time." AL for you? You have serious health issues - and again, you may have to change your mind. People around means help for you, assistance with your ADLs, someone to take the burden from you so you don't carry the whole load yourself. Find the right people who will help but give you space. Don't rule out what you may desperately need eventually.

Sister and niece could still contribute largely to husband's daily life if he's in memory care. You're fortunate to have people that care.

I wish you luck.

Sorry but even if his brain is still OK most of the time the fact of the matter is you are in your seventies with your own health issues. You cannot keep cleaning up after his nightly reenactment of the Titanic hitting and iceberg with all that water breaching the hull.

I would start looking at a facility for him to go to. It will have to be done eventually so might as well do it now before all the stress dealing with him causes you to die first.

And if you die first it will be off to the facility for him anyway. You choose him or you?

Sometimes you have to get on that broken door that's floating in the water (sorry Jack...better luck next time).

My grandma use to pee behind the tree, brown recliner, in the green grass, green shag carpet, in the living room of our house.

She wasn't doing anything wrong in her broken brain, it was after all grass and she was hidden by the tree.

This disease is heartbreaking and brutal, now is the time to step up his caregiving, you or someone else, and accompany him to the bathroom every single time. I would recommend a bathroom schedule to help make it easier.

You need to accompany him to the bathroom each and every time.
And at this point you need to try to get him to sit down rather than stand and "aim"
Another option might be incontinent underwear and a "onesie" garment that he can not get off.
I doubt seriously this is a "passive aggressive" move on his part. This is a result of his brain not working properly and being able to process action/cause/effect/
A member of the Support Group I am now cofacilitator to her husband would urinate in any planter in the house, almost any corner and once in the closet. It is the broken brains not intentional.

You must know that your husband is NOT doing this on purpose. His brain is broken and he can't help it, so threatening him to me seems rather cruel
I would say to prevent these instances that you're either going to have to get up with him overnight and assist him to the bathroom each time(like I had to do with my late husband when he was getting up every hour and was a fall risk), or buy a plastic urinal and hold it for him(like I did for my husband too)so he doesn't even have to get out of bed, or just tell him to pee in his Depends and you can clean him up in the morning(yes I had to do that with my husband too).
And of course last but not least, he may have to use a catheter(a condom one would work for overnight)or if things get real bad like it did with my late husband a permanent catheter(supra pubic).
Lewy Body dementia is one of the most aggressive dementias with a life expectancy of just 5-7 years, so be kind to your husband and try and enjoy whatever time you may have left with him, hard as it may be at times, because there will come a day when you will wish for just one more day with him.

Are you sure he's doing this on purpose and out of spite? I have read an awful lot of posts through the years about people peeing (and defecating!) in odd places all over the house, it could just be part of his dementia process. Of course that doesn't solve the problem of how to break him of the habit - perhaps it will be necessary for you to follow him to the bathroom to supervise.