What to do for my 83 yr. old mother who had brain surgery and is not recovering fully?

This all depends. If your mother was living alone, and has no other support here in the city, then you are going to need close contact with the rehab. If there is other family, then stay in touch with them. As rehab goes on you will know more about chances for recovery, but if she was in-home she may now require 24/7 care. If you are capable of taking time off from your own job for family leave you may need to come here, get temporary guardianship (the Social Worker at the rehab needs to become you new best friend); sometimes this can be done with a temporary guardianship from a judge by phone. Someone is going to need access to or knowledge of assets and accounts, etc if placement is needed.

I am so sorry. What happened that surgery was needed? Was this a tumor, a bleed?
I wish you luck. Stay tuned here and ask us questions as you go along. Be certain for now her home/apartment is secured.

Make sure she is going to a rehabiliation facility and NOT a skilled nursing facility. The difference in the amount of rehab is significant, >15 hours per week vs. 5 or less. The recovery is comparable. Seniors with brain surgery can recover well, but the likelihood of full recovery is minimal. If Mom was independent she was probably driving. Assume that she will not be able to drive again, and take that into consideration with long term planning. Best case scenario may be an independent living facility near a family member who can make care management decisions. Start researching and planning now, do not wait until discharge from rehab. Get Mom's advanced directives. If she never made them, get the appropriate famly members together to make a care plan. If there isn't agreement, who is likely to be able to be involved? Who in the family has knowledge and experience that is relevant to making care decision? FYI if the right side of her body is weak she may (or may not) have difficulty with language. Make sure she gets a comprehensive functional evaluation when she starts rehab, and that all deficiencies are addressed. If there are cognitive deficiencies get that documented. Finally, if she is progresing in rehab, keep her there for as long as possible. Follow up with out-patient rehab. Most patients stop recovery when they stop rehab.

You don't recover from something like this in a Hospital. Few have any type of therapy, thats why they go to Rehab.

Your Mom maybe be in Rehab for quite a while. Medicare pays 100% the first 20 days, 50% the next 80 for a total of 100. (Some supplements pay the other 50%) If there is no improvement by day 100 (or they find out prior that she has hit a plateau) this is when the decision will need to be made if she will need to be transferred to Longterm care or an Assisted Living or Memory care if your not able to care for her.

What do you think would be a solution in this situation?

Worst case scenario is she never fully recovers and needs LTC. Do you want her to be close to you so that you can help manage her affairs, if you're able? It won't be easy to do from a distance.

The caregiving arrangement only works if it works for both people.

You may need to talk to a social worker at the rehab center. Without having PoA you will need to rely on your Mom's cooperation, if she's able to communicate that to anyone. Consider taking a trip down there with downloaded PoA paperwork for her to hopefully assign you (if you want this responsibility). Most hospitals/facilities have a notary on staff to finalize those types of documents. Explain to your Mom that without her choosing her representative, the government will choose one for her and it won't be you. Otherwise, you can ask sw about emergency guardianship.

Who does have POA ? Are there other family local where she is? Her spouse? Who is making decisions for her? Is she cognitively alert and oriented ( per doctors) to make her own decisions? Does she have any documents in place regarding her wishes? Does she have legal documents in place?

Lots of questions here...

My best answer to your question, is to determine answers to the questions I pose above, get on a plane or car and travel the four ( 4) hours to be present yourself and communicate with your mother and others in person. Are you an only child? You may also benefit from conferring with an Elder Law Attorney.

If she now has mental compromise, its too late to get POA. The time to fill those documents out is in advance, when you are of sound mind.

Personally, I'd wait and see what happens. It sounds like mom had a really big surgery, and at that age, it takes the body longer to recover. Hopefully after some time in rehab, she's back to herself.

However, if after some time in rehab, mom doesn't respond to care and treatment, you may have to do guardianship/conservatorship.

My advice for now is to wait and see. But if mom does make a full recovery, please encourage her to go to her attorney and set up a POA and healthcare POA, to save you the time and expense of obtaining guardianship/conservatorship should something happen where you need it.

Who gave permission to the neurosurgeon to do the surgery? Someone had to sign documents for the doctor to perform surgery. When I had my brain surgery, I had no POA in place, but the neurosurgeon gave papers to my daughter to sign to authorize my surgery. Also, it’s extremely important that your mother partake in ALL of her therapies as this will help her to fully recover. After my brain surgery and recovery from it, I was transferred into a rehab center where I made sure I got all of the therapies because I wanted to fully recover and not to be dependent on anyone for help. It will also help your mother to recover faster if she has you or a close relative or friend to visit her and go with her to her therapies.

If you need to and if mom can afford it, if you can't be there, you might want to hire someone to sit with mom in rehab and be her advocate, much as a family member would. I'm suggesting this because it might reassure mom to have someone nearby to help her understand what's going on and why. This could be only temporary while you figure out what's next.

Sometimes the aides in the rehab will know someone who no longer works full-time there but will do private duty. I found someone like that by meeting a CNA in the dining hall, and she had a list of friends who were available from time to time. They helped in the patients' homes when the patients were released. Some of these people were in nursing school becoming RNs, and they were happy to have part-time work. Ask around.

Good luck to your mom and to you.

Dr, Benshir had a great, understandable, IMPORTANT answer. Be mindful, I do not know this Dr. but I learned from my father's death at age 34, HAVE DOCUMENTS in order. I'm now 84 and cherish what I learned from my parents who never completed high school. Get yourself to where your mother is, get the doctor to determine the extent of Mom's mental capacity, get an attorney to draw up the papers, after you discuss with an elder attorney. I don't have a college degree, but I read, I listen to others, I learn from TV. Nothing can be done if a POA is not in place. Early on in my marriage to a soldier, I didn't think a lot, but remembered my mother's trouble raising 5 children, her husband with no life insurance, dead at age 34. I learned from just that simple "mistake" on my father's part, no matter how many times my mother begged him to get life insurance. He died at age 34 with no life insurance, leaving Mom with a mortgage on a new home he built, no mortgage insurance --his answer to her begging him to get life and mortgage insurance "I'm young, nothing's going to happen to me". I heard that weekly, if not daily from both parents. He died less than 2 years later. Get help from an attorney NOW, to prepare for the near end and for someone to take over finances and settle the estate. Don't hesitate, you never know what tomorrow will bring. I know, I'm 84 and without a Dad since I was 16 and helping to feed the family and helping Mom pay a mortgage he refused to get insurance on himself for. Don't hesitate, act now, before you're left with a lot of problems if your family member dies earlier. My husband and I learned from both of our families, we didn't get POA's until our 50's, but insurance on our mortgage, and a POA we did get because I learned from my parents situation. Don't waste time going to a lawyer. Life is not promised to us.

Debs10091958: A lot will depend on whether your mother was living by herself prior to the brain surgery. If she is now not of lucid mind, it's too late for her as the proposed principal to assign POA to anyone.