I am getting more depressed every day. All mom does is complain. She has never been a kind and warm person. Blames her northern upbringing. She has always been very tough and critical. I left home at 18 and now I am back taking care of her for the past 4 years bc it was most financially feasible and 2/4 kids live here. I never married and don’t have kids. Both parents literally chased off my first love. Now my current boyfriend won’t marry bc of my mom and dysfunctional family. I am prone to anxiety and depression. She does not affect my siblings the same way. I am very scared. I even cancelled my whole weekend bc she conveniently had an anxiety attack and trouble breathing. I feel trapped. She has no money. Dad left her broke.What should do?

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Have u taken her to the doctor? There is a reason for the decline. Is she eating, drinking? Does she want to? It may be time for hospice.
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Is she still in Independent living? If so, maybe, she needs a higher level of care. If she were in AL or nursing home, they can attend to things like anxiety attacks. IF she could get that, then it frees you up to be more proactive in your self-care and relationships. I'd focus on keeping 93 year old parent as comfortable as possible, as change is not likely at this point. But, you do have control over yourself. I hope you can find some answers that help.
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I have to say that having no money makes it easier to get assistance.

If she can not care for herself then it is time for a village, facilities are there for this very reason, to care for individuals that no longer have the capacity to care for themselves.

You are not obligated to be tormented by this person called mom. She will not like it, but tough. She can't take care of herself and she is trying to destroy you while you try to care for her, that is not acceptable behavior.

Tell your siblings that you will be filing for Medicaid to place mom and if they aren't in agreement, well, consider this your 2 weeks notice and they better have someone their on june 10th because you will be gone.

Take back your life and let her live with her choices.
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