I am currently helping care for my mother who is 71. She has no major illnesses that I am are aware of. Although I'm pretty certain she has some cluster b personality disorders. Very selfish, victim mentality, pity party, sick when the attention quota isn't being met, chronic complainer type. Like I said no major health issues other than just getting older and mobility issues. Just the normal stuff that accompanies old age. Each day starts with a gigantic sigh followed by groaning about some body part that hurts. And thru the day it's just one sigh after another. Each louder than the last. I call it attention breathing because it's like "sighh".....(no response)...... "Sighhhhhh"........ (still no response)....... She clears throat, deep inhale and "Sssigggghhhhhhhhhhh"....... For God's sake mom what's wrong?..... "Huh? What?.... Oh nothing it's just my back/neck/foot/ect. Just ignore it."
Well that was the plan but it's kind of hard to ignore it when your exhaling so loud I can't hear the television. Aaaaahhhhhh!
She's always making some dig at me about something I didn't do that I was supposed to do. But of course when I do that thing it's replaced with the next thing I didn't do. And this goes on constantly. I thought with all the digging she does I should buy her a shovel for Christmas. I try and offer solutions to her "pains" and nope can't do it. Just wants to sit there and complain about them. I think the only thing she loves more than complaining is not doing anything about them. It's so exhausting to deal with. I've had multiple people tell me they thought something was wrong with her as far as her mental state because of how openly selfish she seems. But of course it's everyone else with the problem not her. It's like she has the ability turn the "show" on and off at will in order to make me look as if I am the one who is crazy for thinking she has issues. I honestly don't know how my Dad did it for all those years. I really don't. God rest his soul. There is no other family to help. I have an older brother but he's basically obese and can't contribute anything. I feel as though I'm leaving so much out and I could go on and on about it but the main question is what strategies do you use in order to deal with someone like this? I mean seriously. Ive tried everything from meditation to drinking. It's really starting to consume me. I can't think of anything except something she did or said. How do you guys do this without letting it really get to you? I mean she's my mother and I love her, but I don't like her. I need advice.