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It's so nice that we all have some place to vent or talk about what we all going through. My husband and I just got marry last September, his mom got sick three years ago with pneumonia when she came home the doctor said until she got stronger. She's going to need 24 hours care she had some home health aids but she complain about them all the time so my husband got sick of the complaining and got rid of them. It left him and I taking care of her he works nights I work day as she is much better now. She still needs some one around to give meds and lunch dinner all she do is watch tv all day from 12 to 1130 midnight. I told my husband we have to change her bed time bc I get up 430 every morningfor work she made a fuss about it I told my husband I don't care bc I need sleep my health is more important than her watching tv. I can see it's taking a toll on my husband he get very frustrated as my self I'm at the end of my rope with this. I love my husband but can't do it no more we have our own place but we stay at his mother apartment. It never suppose to be permanent but my mother in law make my husband feel guilty bc he was always deployed before but he been around for 4 years now so my questions is how do I tell my husband it's enough we have to start our own lives? I don't want to have to make him choose help. Oh my mother in law is 84 we are 49 and 47

Thanks everyone I told my husband this morning and he said as of September he's going to stop giving his brother time to figure something out bc his brother have proxy I told him we can't do this any more we will come visit just like her other son which he only comes when its holidays.
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Reply to misfairlady69
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Don't tell him, show him by moving back home.
Maybe he will follow.

This won't require a lot of conversation. Let him work it out.
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Reply to Sendhelp
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Move back to your own home and rehire the aides. If she doesn’t like it, too bad. Tell her and her son you are done. If he protests that means he’s more interested in being a son than a husband and you will have some decisions to make about your future with him.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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Stephanie4181 May 26, 2019
Yes, and if he stays with his mom, u find out alot about him early on instead of wasting many years of ur life
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Im sorry that you're having to deal with this, especially so early on in the marriage. However, its the perfect time to set some boundaries! First of all, you said that your husband and you have your own place to live? Well LIVE THERE. Just move back there and if he wants to stay at his mom's, then there you have your answer. Don't waste time trying to change your mother-in-law, its NOT going to happen. You said your husband hired aides but she didn't like them? You need to explain to your husband that as long as she's given a choice, this behavior will continue. She has learned that she will get what she wants by complaining. She wants her son living with her not you, and he's allowing her to make all your life decisions. NIP IT IN THE BUD.
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