It may be too late for me this time round as I've realised I am fraying at the seams a bit (forgetting things, getting weepy, irritable, not sleeping etc), but does anyone have tips for preventing burnout and/or delegating admin tasks?
In the last few months my Mum (92) has gradually palmed everything practical/administrative off onto me. Each little thing, phone call, email, etc is simple in and of itself, but added together it amounts to a huge administrative overhead. It's also the case that one phone call or meeting then requires an exponential number of follow ups as well.
I started a log as people kept asking me for details or had I spoken to so-and-so and had I followed up with so-and-so. It has helped me immeasurably, but has also made it very clear what I have taken on by default.
Thing is I can't see a way to stop - and I am SO resentful. My mother has NPD, alcohol use disorder, and was/is abusive, so it's difficult enough to do the bits I do. But she has no one else. I do make it clear with the care team and social workers etc that I work full time and am NOT her "carer" but there is still loads of admin that needs to be done and she won't do it.
At the moment I have: follow up on GP ear appointment, eye appointment, pay ground rent, follow up with pendant alarm service, follow up with falls service about raising furniture - just to name a few.
A good friend advised me to just STOP because she had similar with her mother and it was only when she stopped that people stepped up. But my husband is worried that if I do that, whatever then happens (further falls - she has had seven in six months, mostly alcohol-related) will still land on my plate, and will be worse than if I was keeping an eye on things.
Help! I am fed up. Burned out already (I work full time). But can't see what to do...
I want to go to Al Anon and need to make that a priority for next week. I am also booking in with a therapist to try to sort out some of my codependency issues. But are there any other practical solutions? If I don't do this stuff, who will?