My MIL lives with my wife and I, in a rental home. My MIL has threatened my life and has mental health issues, and my wife’s family won't help, stating their mother has burned that bridge. This woman has cheated the system for years. She has scammed and schemed to get assistance that she may or may not need; she refuses to follow her doctors orders, “self-detoxing” is what she calls it. My wife is afraid of her mom ending up in the street, meanwhile I fear MIL as she sleepwalks with kitchen knives. Needless to say, I don’t sleep. My wife and I just celebrated our 1st anniversary, having been together since the day we met, four plus years ago. Literally have spent only one night apart the entire time.
I am so in love with my wife, however, I cannot live like this any longer. MIL is a hoarder. She has destroyed this rental house, which she has never paid a penny to live in, meanwhile, her eldest daughter refuses to assist us or, as her financial caretaker, see that MIL needs to help with the bills. We live in a very warm climate most of the year, as an example, our electric bill is 3x the avg house in the entire city of millions. MIL demands the HEAT is on and set to 80 year round! So I have to sleep with a portable AC for a 600sq ft space, as my bedside table. Our water bill is 4x the median since MIL trained her 13 year old dog to pee on blankets she lays on the floor, which she washes one at a time, all day long. I am afraid. COVID got me hard, work has not been easy to find, and I have received zero unemployment or stimulus. My wife, she is amazing, has a great job and the luxury of working remotely, but she is going crazy too. Her and I argue, constantly, about the situation, and I ask for her to see it from my perspective, but she cannot. I give her options for resolution but, any attempt with her mother is met with an immediate attack or my wife just gets to her boiling point and blows up at me. My family is near, and we try to see them a few times a week, only to be accused of abusing MIL. She threatens to call the cops everyday, she has threatened my life but I cannot call PD or I may lose my wife. I am lost and soon may not be found.
The fact of the matter is, this is just the tip of the iceberg. My MIL needs help, serious help, but I have witnessed her play the role for a few mental health professionals, showing them her best behavior, only to see them drive off and her true colors return. How can a mental health professional spend a few hours with an individual and state that the individual is of sound mind? Why would the state not require her to be taken in for an actual assessment? She is a danger to herself, but others more so, myself included.