Anyone question why we have to suffer?


Sometimes I get so mad at God, why he is putting us through all of this? Why can't he take my mom peacefully, why she has to be miserable and make me miserable. And then I have my husband who is chronically sick also. Why is God putting me through this??? Feel like I am the only healthy one, what for, to take care of everyone. I know everyone will say take time for myself, I do, but I just get so mad sometimes. Thanks for letting me vent!!!!

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Well, I'm going to put the two cents in, for what it is worth. I think we live on a planet that is not controlled by God. It's controlled by nature. To all things there is a season. Maybe that is biblical, but it was probably something else before it got into the book. I do think that God is in our lives and whatever form of God you use is fine with me.

I worked for 22 plus years with children who were terminally ill. I remember one family who's little girl was dying. It was Father's day and extended family came to their home for a BBQ. When the grandparents arrived, their little 4 year old boy ran into the street to greet them and was it by a car and died at the scene. Did I ask myself what God was doing at that moment? You bet I did. I was heart sick for that family. And over the years, I saw similar things happen. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, it did.

I think you see God, when you see the kindness of others. When there is a natural disaster and people go to help. When you see soup kitchens. There are so many people in this world who try to make it better for others. To me, that is God in action.

I don't think God does things to punish us. He didn't make Katrina happen because he wanted to get even with anyone. He didn't invent AIDS to wreak havoc and misery on a certain population. That's complete BS and those who profess to know God and promote him in this manner are, in my humble opinion, just plain sick.

I think we live in a world that is controlled by nature. We are born, we grow old and die. We suffer from any number of things; poverty, ignorance, cruelty, war, plagues. We may want ourselves and those we love to be spared from suffering, but truly, how is that possible in the randomness of events?

I am grateful that,as a woman, I was born in the US. I could have been born to a destitute family in a foreign land and sold, been one of millions murdered, died of starvation, etc. etc. etc. Why I ended up being born here into a middle class family, even though it wasn't always a kind and loving family, I don't know, but when I look at the world I know I am blessed. So blessed.

I have always felt that most of us in the United States live, even with our difficulties, better than 90 percent of the global population. We didn't earn it, we were just lucky to be born here and not in a poor 3rd world country.

My heart goes out to everyone on this tread. I haven't had to care for people for 25 years, I don't have chronic pain, today my husband is not ill (and by the way I do worry that something will happen to one of us while we are still in the care giving roll), I have a roof over my head and I am able to love.

I want to also mention that we do have the ability to advocate for ourselves. We can say no, take the help that is offered by facilities to help with the care of our parents We can rescue ourselves, even if such action falls outside of our comfort zone. Sometimes it's not God that keeps us stuck in a bad situation, it's us.

I've had my share of heartbreak. It may be different than yours and it may be less than yours. I am very tired of being a care giver and I hope the end comes soon, but I know that I am responsible for taking this task on. No one forced it on me.

When I take a walk, I look at the trees, the pond on our property that has two families with goslings. I hear the birds chirping. I breath in the smell of new mowed grass and welcome the sun on my face. And I thank God for that moment that reminds me I am a part of all that has been created. I am a part of this wonderful beautiful moment, all of which comes from the same source. And I am so grateful that my little view is one of beauty at that moment and not one of suffering that so many see elsewhere. I am grateful for that moment because it takes me to God and away from my sadness and stress.

I don't have the answers, but I can at least share what I am grateful for. Please take steps to make changes that are necessary for your life so it can be as happy as possible. Tragedy is part of nature and chance. It's not personal. Try to hang on to that and make any changes you can to enjoy the live you have been given. It's never too late to be grateful for what you have and it's never to late to look at the choices you make to undermine your own happiness.

As for tragedies, I'm sorry for all who suffer them. A brother who is paralyzed due to an accident, a child who is born with birth defects, a parent who suffers, a spouse who is stricken at a young age. It's never fair. Never.

Love to all of you, Cattails.
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Hi Maryann, better to vent than to keep it inside : ) But please know that God is not doing this to you. He suffers with you. What happens in our lives is because an enemy is present and at work. There's an answer, but is too long for here. Suffice it to say that God can and will use every situation for our good in the long run, even though it doesn't seem like it right now. And while He has never promised a stress-free life, He does always promise to be close to us and never leave us. He walks beside us every step. And . . . you can be honest with Him and tell Him how you're feeling -- He doesn't mind!
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By the way, I don't buy into that saying that God never gives you more than you can handle. Some people can't handle it and take their own lives. Again, it isn't fair, but I don't hold that against God. It's the world we live in. Hugs.
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For me, the answer is to look back over my life and then I am able to see the times that God has actually been there for me and has pulled me through my crisis. At the time it was not easy for me to see but looking back on it, it becomes very clear.

My father suffered terribly and died from lung cancer at age 71. There were times during his illness that all I could do was fall on my knees and ask God to take him. He lingered and suffered for three years. When he passed I could not cry as I was glad to see he was a peace and no longer in pain. I believe God had a better plan for him.

Currently, my husband's sister is in a home at 54 years old. She has multiple sclerosis and cannot scratch her nose, completely invalid. I have no answers other that sometimes I think this is actually hell - then God takes us to heaven! I have to believe that there is something better after this life. If I didn't believe that there would be no reason to hang on. I am not a religious person but I'm trying to be a spiritual person. Not so sure I'm very good at it. However, I do believe in a power greater than myself. I do believe there is a reason and a season. Life is no an easy road and growing older is not for sissies. I think one's attitude can influence the degree of suffering. Suffering is part of life. Too, we cannot look to others and compare ourselves to them and how easy their life my seem to us. We will always fail when we take that road. Everyone else always seems happier than we are!!!! Whenever I've compared myself to others and always I've been the loser!

Perhaps God allows us to suffer so that we can turn our stubborn self will over and allow him to guide our paths. I just don't know the answer. I do know that there is much suffering in this life, not only with illness, aging parents, spouses, etc. but their are other problems that many have suffered with finances, children, divorce, addictions, etc. Suffering seems to be the common denominator of the human race. Therefore, it must serve some purpose.

Finally, all I can add is simply try counting your blessings. Make a gratitude list of things you are thankful for. It may be just one thing but focusing on that one thing will allow it to grow into more. Everyone always has something to be grateful for. For me, it is my little dog. She is the hightlight of my day. I can't imagine life without her. She is truly a gift!

Also, admitting our powerlessness is very comforting. In any 12-step program the first step is to admit that we are powerless in a particular situation, whether it be illness, addiction, etc. Our lives have become unmanageable. Then we come to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us. Sometimes we hang in there by the skin of our teeth but we ask for his will not ours be done! Then we turn our lives over and let him be in charge! It may not be what we want - but it will be better than we have now! We just have to let him run the ship his way.

Finally, whatever we are going through will not last forever. "This too shall pass." Every crises in one's life passes. The end result will perhaps not be what we want, but will be what we must accept!

I'm a member of this group as my mom (90) fell and broke her leg and hip. I visit her daily trying to bring some form of enjoyment to her but my company and my efforts go unnoticed. She is all I have as far as family. I hate to give her up as for many years we were very close. Not so much as she aged! I find myself looking back to the years when we had so much enjoyment and it's so sad. I thank God that I had her for all those years when I needed her. She's done the best that she could do and I'll always love her regardless.

I hope this post has helped someone.
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Hmm, I wrote a post here, but my post didn't get posted. Basically what I said was that it's always good to be honest with God -- He knows our heart anyway. But He does not make the bad things happen. They happen because we have an enemy who hates us. God cries with us, and promises to walk with us through all the hard stuff in life. Not only that, but He promises that it will turn out for good, even though we may have to wait until heaven to find out what good it did us. I've asked these hard questions, and still do sometimes. But mostly now, I'm coming into the realization that God can be trusted even though circumstances seem to say differently. Without God, we have nothing. With Him, we can make it through, both in this life, and into the next.
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Ahhh... .Cattails, I couldn't agree with you more. Thanks for that. Sometimes when people start talking religion, I get a little squeamish about saying what I believe, or don't believe. You said it for me, and quite nicely, I might add.
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The "Church of What's Happening Now" too funny Cattails but I hear what you're saying. It's my believe that organized religion is simply a form of control. I'm sure many will disagree with me and that is their right! I am not saying that anyone should do as I do or feel as I feel. We are all individuals and able to make our own decisions. However, I do agree with you about prayer. I no longer believe in a punishing God - One's who is out to get me! I believe in a loving God. Many of us have a hard time with that as we've really never had a good handle on what unconditional love is all about as we did not get that growing up. So, I describe it as the love of a pet! A pet accepts you unconditionally - a pet is non-judgemental, loving and comforting! That is unless your standing in front of a bowl of food!

Seriously I believe that God will help me and will others if we ask. Look at the love on this website! Is it just by chance that we stumbled upon this site. I think there is a great deal of compassion and caring here and we discovered each other for a reason! I don't find a lot of judgement on this website - just ordinary people reaching out to others in their moment of need. That's my description of prayer! We ask God in our moment of need! When we have exhausted ourselves trying to do it on our own, our knees hit the floor and we become willing to ask for his guidance in our individual situation.
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Sooo many great pieces of knowledge and advice here! And so many things I have also felt-as so many of us have. If you have time to read-When Bad Things Happen to Good People-it is a good book. Right now I am reading The Purpose Driven Life. Won't solve all your problems but may give you some things to think about!
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sweety, Gods giving you strength for something coming up, we either get tested, or we are being prepared for something, but dont get mad at God, tell him to send some strength your way soon! its hard, man let me tell you, im going through surgical menapause right now ( im 44 just hysterectomy and overies removed 1/4/12 because of cancer) and my body and mind are adjusting, but my whole family turned on me, all i asked of dad was to keep my breakdown out of the public arena, but nooooo, mr popular feels he has to cry 'poor poor me' and throw me under the bus telling everyone how horrible i am to everyone and they belive him! i moved here because my brother WAS beating him up, and like most abuse victims, he was quiet, kept his head down, i get rid of brotherr ( prison) dads confindent again so now he tells people that IM abusing him and they are beliving him! hows that for a kick in the teeth? but its not Gods fault, he wont give you more than you can handle, you have to learn to rechannel the anger into something, anything else, anger will fester and turn you dark . your like the rest of us, the people that take abuse from elderly because our shoulders can take it, ( doesnt always feel like we can) but this is the most thankless no-money-paying hard JOB ever!! i choose to belive that we are the stronger ones, were being groomed for something better. if that makes sense. our seat is secure in heaven. think of it like this..if the person is mean, they either cant control/dont know it, or they are straight up mean, in witch God and karma will handle them. ( can you tell im struggling with thi guy here? AHHHH! but its was funny. today he starts on the 'what do you do for me around here' kick, and the phone rang, he couldnt hear the gal so he handed the phone to me. i said ' i dont do anything for you, you just said that right?' so he hangs up the phone all mad, he says 'now did you have to say that?' no more than you did, dad. thats what i do. your so used to me handling everything here its a reflex for you to hand me whatever you dont want to deal with. that is what i do, i smooth the path so you can walk without falling. i monitor things in the background to keep things smooth. i dont make it a point to make myself look good, i do this so you look good. . so stop telling me you give me free rent when the demand for good strong housekeepers is really high right now, the lady next door needs a caregiver.
im sorry, i vented....hold your cool, vent here, dont let yourself think dark thoughts. at least thats my advice i tell myself
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saints in progress, i like that. there are oposites because there must be balance, if there wasnt death, life wouldnt be precious. without evil, how do you know good? everything must be balanced no matter what your looking at. i dont know why we get picked, but i dont ask why. i know one thing, God wont call me home until he wants me there. you wont die until your numbers up, when your numbers up, your gone. its not scary, its different. whats scary is our bodies getting old and falling apart. now you can function in almost any body if youve got a good strong mind, , so when that falters on you, its terrifying. i kind of know, im going through surgical menapause at 44 and with that come adjusting, i know that, but for two days, my mind was 'shut down for repairs' and i knew my name, i knew i was dressed, and thats about it. i was so scared that my mind went into alzheimers mode and all i could think was i need a babysitter till this passes. who can i hire? but i couldnt dial a phone to order a pizza! my mind usually has a millions things flowing, but it shut down. i wanted to find someone to just let me follow them and watch me. like if you were in a car accident and had to relearn stuff,i had to laugh at myself for going from 1,00000 to 5 overnight, i knew mine would pass. i think thats part of our strength, we can 'fix' ourselfs real fast because our 'charge; comes first.
these i belive people have angels, that watch over us and keep us out of trouble, im sure im not the only ones thats seen them. usually its people from our past that save us from that near miss car wreck that should have killed us, thats angels. what do you want to bet they were caregivers just like us when they were here? God picked us, we will know why later, just have to know that we wont be given more than we can handle. if your slipping, pray for strength. thats the one thing you can always ask for and its always granted.
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