Problems with clothes and supplies at Memory Care?

My mom is in a long term nursing facility. They supply everything except her clothing and their policy is that you bring any new clothing to laundry to have her name stamped in before putting it in her closet. I only take in her favorite lotions, perfumes, etc occasionally. I am there at least twice per week and immediately notify the nursing staff when I notice something missing. It's rare that they don't find it after a while. Like others have said, patients wander and help themselves. Mom loses a lot of snacks that I bring in. Often the laundry workers are so overwhelmed that they get things in the wrong closet. When I find things in moms closet that aren't hers I either take it to the nurses station or to the room where it belongs if I know the name. I don't take in anything expensive if I can help it. Clothes don't last long because they wash everything in hot water and wash them often.

At first I used to get very upset over every incident. My theory now is not to sweat the small stuff as long as she is safe and getting the proper care. And I recommend visiting often and being observant.

This is a universal problem....when we moved our aunt into a very expensive memory care unit, her things were constantly missing and we also found other residents property in her room.  They wander around and go into each others rooms and pickup eye glasses, false teeth, clothing and other personal items.  You just have to let it go.  It is uncontrollable.  You can write your mothers name on everything...but who is going to into every patients room and look for it?  We never could control it.  If we found something in our aunts room that we knew wasn't hers, we would take it to the nurses desk, but outside of that, we were helpless.  We just knew she was fed, bathed, given meds and as safe as she could be...had to let the rest go.

In a Memory Care facility, people have severe memory issues......they wander around inside one another's rooms (if they are unlocked), helping themselves to things they 'find', not realizing the items do not belong to them. You can put a name on an item, and it will still disappear. It's just the nature of the beast in such an environment, I'm afraid. You can alert the admin, and nothing will change. It is what it is.

I am a receptionist in a Memory Care facility and deal with the residents daily. One gal knocked on the lobby doors the other day and I went to see what she needed. She was holding 3 bathroom items; a bottle of body wash, a stick of deodorant (with a BITE taken out of it), and a bottle of shampoo. They had her name and room number written on them with black magic marker. She demanded to know WHO the items belonged to? I told her they belonged to her, and that I'd help her put them back inside her bathroom cabinet. She had a meltdown, insisting they were NOT hers but 'someone else's'. I said Okay, kept the items at the front desk for an hour, and had one of the care givers put them back in her bathroom later on that day.

The residents have no idea what's going on. This is why the administration suggests each resident have only minimal clothing and bathroom items in their room at any given time, and no items of value AT ALL.

It's important to know that there is no 'malicious intent' involved.......nothing that requires a 'police report' to be filed, nothing about 'stealing' and things of that nature. It's all to do with dementia and loss of reasoning, memory, cognitive power. In the end, the 'stuff' doesn't really matter; it's the CARE that does.

It can be frustrating to have to replace items for a loved one residing in Memory Care, I know, so I feel your pain.

I really don't have an answer but wanted to share this: When my MIL was in a nursing home I made her a handmade afghan. It kept ending up in other people's room. It had her name on it (Large and impossible not to see) as well as her room number. It was stitched on so could be changed out if her room number changed. At least once a month I'd have to tour the facility looking for it. Once I found it and walked in to get it when a loved one of the person in that room asked me what I thought I was doing, taking her mom's stuff. She shut up as soon as I showed her the name tag. Next time I caught her trying to take the name tag off. I made her mother a lap robe of her own and that finally stopped that particular problem.

I complained to staff that I had to keep searching for it. They had no answers. All her clothes disappear over time so only left her a few outfits and took the rest home to launder. Then all these strange clothes started to show up in her closet. I was told it was stuff from residents who had "passed". Checking name tags I realized that wasn't true. Staff wasn't thrilled when I gathered up all the stuff that belonged to "live" residents and gave it to them to get to the correct residents. It went on and on.

Just before my MIL passed I took home the TV I had bought for her as she was no longer using it (completely bed ridden and slept all the time.) . If the staff had been more cooperative with her stuff I would have let them keep it.

She had good physical care but hoo boy! Everything she owned would grow feet and move to someone else's room.

I had a relative in MC. They kept a container with relatives supplies in it and her name on everything. They doled out soap and shampoo as needed. You HAVE to put her name prominently with a sharpie on all her stuff. Put initials in waterproof ink in all her clothing, shoes, etc.

In MC, residents are bad about "wandering and plundering" each other's rooms. Other residents have probably taken her things.

Someone needs to be on top of things. Clothing needs to have her name in it even socks. I took pictures of everything I took to the AL and later LTC. That way I could show the laundress what I was looking for. I also found, that Moms clothes were being put in her roommates closet. I put her outfits on one hanger, that included a clean bra.

I never had this problem but others have. Aides taking Depends from one resident for another. I took one pack at a time. Thats 30. Moms bathroom had a cabinet with a shelf under it. I would stuff it with Depends putting the rest in the closet. Are u sure that the toiletries u order are getting to ur Mom?

For me, this was the stressful part of having Mom in an AL and then LTC.

I find it absolutely ridiculous that they can't provide soap and shampoo for 11k a month. This is part of the overall problem, we can't be responsible but you must provide and provide and provide.

I bought my dad dollar store products and then I knew that the lovely pampering products were not going home with staff, because that is what happens when people are not paid a living wage, they know that no one will question the products missing and it is to much temptation for some.

Not personally, but this is an ongoing problem in most assisted living facilities.
Nursing Homes have had this problem for more than 40 years that I know of. Residents will wander in and out of rooms and take what they want. It's not malicious, they just don't know they are not supposed to do this. Even sewing names into all the clothing doesn't help.

My great-aunt was tall and thin and her clothing constantly disappeared 40 years ago from her nursing home. Yes, her name was in everything but it didn't help the problem.

My mother was in a nursing home for 4 years. One blanket was lost never to be found. I had taken two pretty ones for her & her name on them. You may find your mother's clothes in the laundry too. Several times I had someone go to the laundry room with me (they had to unlock it) and sure enough, Mom's clothes were in the dryer BUT some were on the Lost & Found shelves! Her name was in all of them. I took a padded card table folding chair for Mom's sister and for myself to sit in because her chair owned by the nursing facility was gone. I put a sign on the back of it that it belonged to our family. It was gone TWICE and it was family members of other patients who just waltzed right in there & got it and did not bring it back and it had the sign in big letters on it. People just don't care. Yes, some dementia patients roam around if they are mobile and pilfer through other patients' things and take things they like but it is not always them. Sometimes, they are late doing the laundry and they are somewhere in that laundry room. Some were balled up in the bottom of Mom's closet (dirty). The CNA threw it in there when her clothes basket got too full. That's another story. Had to get the administrator involved. It is just going to happen in those facilities and her things could be anywhere in that facility.

Toiletries are not kept in the room, they may get eaten or used in other dangerous ways. It is amazing what those with dementia will think, sad. Facility's responsibility is to keep them safe.

Missing clothing? It would be wonderful if something could be figured out to keep clothing in the appropriate rooms. It could be disappearing after washing a resident wandering or even mom giving items away.