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I'm having problems with the care facility that I have for my mom and I initially wanted to interview the caregivers, as this is our first experience. My mom is 91 and lived alone — she needs 24/7 care and there are at least 6 care givers and it's overwhelming. Reason 2, the caregivers were fighting and yelling. What can I do to get this back into a calm atmosphere for my mom?

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Tell the administration that caregivers are quarreling. They need to handle that.

Then become friendly with her caregivers because they are your mom's team. If they like you, they'll be helpful to you and good to mom. Thank them often. Let them know they are appreciated. Their job isn't easy.

Good luck!
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Reply to Fawnby
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KellyGirl71 Jul 20, 2025
How will you know if they do not like her? How would she know if that was the case? Do you think family may need to buy their respect with the CNA's with gifts, food, etc...?
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What kind of care facility is Mom in? Assisted living, Memory Care or Longterm care?

In a facility you do not get to interview the aides. They are are assigned a resident by the RN who is their boss. Why are these aides arguing? You go to the RN in charge, you tell her that the aides are upsetting the residents with their arguing. This is really unprofessional. If the RN doesn't resolve the problem, then you talk to the director/administrator.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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If there are 2 caregivers arguing in a common area of the facility you are well within your right to either talk to the person in charge or even go to the administration office. If the person in charge of the floor area hears the argument and does not step in that also would be a concern of mine.
I do not think any facility would let you "interview" caregivers.
You can talk to the caregivers. but do so in a conversational manner.
When you enter the facility greet EACH person you see. Wish them a good morning or afternoon. When you leave say good bye. this includes the facility staff cleaning a window, the van driver, the kitchen staff taking a try down the hall. Trust me they will get to know you.
Greet the CNA's and other staff that have direct contact with mom. Thank them for what they are doing. Don't try to help them. (can be a safety issue for them, for mom and for you)
Every once in a while bring a basket of fruit or some cookies. Be sure to "spread the kindness" with other shifts as well.
Nothing will be "perfect" there will always be some problem.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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The care facility , and care givers are being paid by You, be it insurance, or out of pocket. There is a lot of stress , especially with older adults, & if the staff has problems , it should be resolved in an office or outside, not in the hallways. You should bring this to the attention of the facility Administrator. Most places are good, staff friendly and helpful, but there's always a disrupter, including the patient, who is too demanding or often ignored. My wife who recently passed , was in a respite facility ,for 3 days. She was ignored , when her concentrator stopped working, after repeated tries to get the attention of the desk, who should of heard the alarm on the machine, didn't respond for an hour she called 911, that got their attention, when the sheriff's showed up, & her oxygen restored. My point, the quality of help these days, anywhere is less than Ideal ,so our connection with anyone should be happy and kind, & hope for the best , fingers crossed, LOL , good luck , God Bless You !!!
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Reply to NancyAnne
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When my wife was in the care facility after she fell, I was fed a lot of misinformation by the facility. You have the right to move her at any time so if you don’t like to care do it now find a new place or bring her home.
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Reply to Sample
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Visit with your Mom a few times at the facility for 1-2 hours at different times of the day/early evening. If during that time, you do not hear or witness fighting and yelling amongst the caregivers, it could be the other residents yelling (which they frequently do) or talking loudly (which the hearing impaired automatically do.)

If you are bored, it is easy to hear anything. If you are elderly, it is easy to not understand or comprehend the "noise."

If it really is the caregivers, talk to the head nurse to understand what is going on. Facilities generally do not have caregivers that exhibit behaviors that would be upsetting or threatening to their residents.

Depending upon what she is hearing, you might need to move her so that she has an environment that is less stressful.
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Reply to ChoppedLiver
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You need to go directly to the administration; call and make an appointment today.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Is this mom saying that or were you present? If I were there,I'd politely walk up and ask if they could take it elsewhere and glance at the residents. Just asking if it was mom because sometimes they can't distinguish that it's the TV. Yes,ask who's in charge and always be polite. Staff suffers from burnout, too. If this is the case,administration needs to get them replaced.
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cover9339 Jul 20, 2025
Having been in a facility, there was arguments among some of the aides, especially the night ones. My roommate even got into it with the night nurse because she "harshly" told him he couldn't go behind the desk to get ice for ice water, when the other nurses did not mind.

So there may be some truth to what mom said.
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If your mom is telling you all of these things, chances are she is delusional. My mom almost had me believing she was beat up or she was being forced to walk and she was immobile. My mom claimed the workers were always yelling and that the nurses wanted to get rid of her and they yell at her. My mom lied and she was paranoid. Lexapro calmed my mom down after a few weeks.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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You have no authority to do so. I suggest you begin a search for a new place.
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Michael2 Jul 20, 2025
Please elaborate.
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