One more crisis to unravel; how do I help Mom without losing my own sanity? -

One more crisis to unravel; how do I help Mom without losing my own sanity?


This is the only place I can say the unravel and people get it immediately. My mom is 83 and in the last 6 months turned our lives upside down. She does not live with me but I am only option for her. She is blind in one eye, and has limited vision in the other. Still drives. As long as there’s enough attention and running - things are ok but it’s exhausting and my own health is suffering. I am POA and she’s very distrusting and angry most days. How do I help her without losing my own sanity?



Sounds familiar. My mom has diabetic retinopathy and was still driving past what we thought was safe. We would offer to drive her everywhere before she could do it on her own. Finally, we had to have the conversation. It included many years on my behalf.
Talk to her eye dr. They normally have to sign paperwork for the DMV to say that they can drive. You can write a letter to the DMV and state that she is unsafe and hey were send her a letter making her retake the test. Then it’s out of your hands. If the eye doctor won’t say she’s safe to drive, and/or she doesn’t pass the drivers test or vision test for a license, it becomes a legal issue, not a personal one.
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Reply to Basdavis

STILL DRIVING??? This problem should be at the top of the list.
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Reply to jjariz

The DMV can give her an eye test. If she Doesn't pass they take her licence.
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Reply to JoAnn29

I think her driving while blind in one eye and limited vision in the other eye make her a danger to herself and to others. I would also suggest that she be evaluated by her GP and also by a geriatric psychiatrist to do a general mental health evaluation and specifically her anger.
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Reply to Becky04473

Agree with getting her to the doc and going with her. " Doc, what does mom need?)
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn

Could she move to assisted living? When was the last time she saw her doctor?
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Reply to cmagnum