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Because I don't live in NY and have no friends to check on him. I’ve been flying every time he’s in hospital/assisted living. Any ideas how I can get help when he’s in hospital or rehab trying to get physical therapy, proper care, etc.?


I’m at my wits' end trying to get his nurse/dr to call me. I need to know he’s being taken care of since he’s fallen while in rehab. An aide was kind enough to tell me he needs help eating. Any ideas are appreciated.

Make contact with in-home care companies in his area and find one that is willing to contract with you for short term periods of need when these episodes occur. There are companies like “Visiting Angels” who can send an aide to a hospital or rehab or to his home for a few hours as needed to help with care. Make sure you give notice and authorization to any hospital or facility that they have permission to allow the aide to be there. Be prepared to pay up to $35.00/hour. Or you can try to find a local church or senior services organization that may be able to help. Ss others have said, he needs to set you up as POA and on all legal forms so you have access to medical and financial records and so those institutions can freely speak with you. You can’t do this job without those permissions in place.
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Reply to jemfleming
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Ask to speak to case manager/social services when he is in the hospital. If you are the one who makes decisions for him - AND he is unable to make decisions for himself - then you can work with case manager to get more help for him based on his resources. Usually, the doctor and other health care professionals inform the case manager about the appropriate level of care for him. Case manager can recommend local resources and residential facilities.
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getgoing66: Power of attorney needs to be put in place by the principal.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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If he has had multiple visits to hospital, rehab, assisted living, he really should have more help than he has currently. Can you help him to hire regular home caregiver visits? Does your brother have friends nearby who would check in on him regularly? And report to you? If he can not afford a home caregiver, you could direct him to apply for medicaid in his county of residence. If he qualifies, that would pay for services that he needs.
I'm confused about whether he is living on his own, or is in an assisted living facility full time.

If he needs more assistance, perhaps it is time to consider moving him to a long term care nursing home.

As others have pointed out, you should have him give you medical and durable power of attorney. He also would need to name you on Hipaa forms when he is admitted for medical care, as an authorized person to receive information, otherwise, doctors and nurses can not legally divulge any personal information to you.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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Hello: If he is over 55, he may be able to get Medicad, or apply for Medicare. They will be able to help you.
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Reply to seniorconnect
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I sure do know the difficulty of trying to act for someone when you aren't there.
My brother fell ill with his Lewy's dementia while he lived in Southern Cal and I in Northern Cal. I had to make the trips, and I can't imagine how otherwise it would be done.

No doctor can speak with you about him without his explicitly giving permission to said doctor and signing release on HIPAA forms. Without a solid POA drawn by a good attorney with a competent brother assigning you as his POA you won't be able to act for him in any ways. As to falls in rehab: they happen.

I think you will need to make a trip or remain somewhat helpless in all truth, unless your brother can speak with you well enough to explain everything going on.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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You could hire a companion care company to come in , 4 hours , once a week to give them company and so you worry less. It's expensive but cheaper than flying back and forth.

I worked for a company like this for a few years.
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Reply to Drivingdaisy
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Check here - myBenefits NY(.gov).

If your brother resides within NYC - ACCESS NY (access.nyc.gov).

These websites will have guidance as to what your brother (and family) may be entitled.
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Reply to notgoodenough
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JoAnn29 Jun 2, 2025
I think she means someone to check on him, not welfare meaning money thru the state. If he can afford an Assisted Living, he does not need Welfare.
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If he hasn't granted Durable Power of Attorney to you, he needs to do that. Also Medical POA. You need to be able to access patient portals at medical practices that treat him. He needs to have Medical Directives, and someone needs to be appointed to act in his best medical interests if he is unable. However, if he needs help in eating, it may be that he is no longer mentally competent to grant any of these.

You need to find out about all of the above. Without those things done, it's unlikely that any info about him can be legally shared with you. And if that is the case, you may have to back out and stop trying to do the impossible. You, as his only family, are not obligated to take charge, especially if you don't have and will never have the tools you need to help him.
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