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Please help!!! I can't take it anymore! I have been caring for my mother who is blind from diabetes for last 7 years. Every time, and I mean EVERY TIME, I try to make a discussion no matter what it is about, she has either done it, been there or knows someone who has. I can't take it anymore!!!! I just told her that so now she is sulking. She said "Well alright, I wont speak anymore"!!! What is her problem?????!!!!! I'm no psychologist, but I know now why my dad NEVER laughed and was always outside watering. I have an old friend, she is 84, and she is NOTHING like my mother. What drives these people?? She says, "You will be the same in 20 years", I said no I wont, I'll be dead!!! If I say something she knows nothing about, she says nothing, shows no interest whatsoever. :(

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If your mom has always been this way, it's unlikely she will change. I know that some do, if they get dementia. My cousin is actually nicer now that she has dementia than beforehand. But, since it's not common for most to change, I think I might try to make other arrangements. Either get some respite care or make a permanent change. There are many good years ahead for you. I would try to enjoy them. Your other family members need you too.
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my MIL is the same way and it's damned if I do damned if I don't. One day she wants me to shut up and go away the next she is saying I never talk to her, complain that I don't go places with her then complains she never gets enough "alone" outings with her son. maybe it is because she isn't sure what she really wants or needs. Also .. she has always been your mother and will continue to be your mother and has always been use to doing for you, as her child. Perhaps it is because she sees herself slipping and it seems to be hard for a parent to except help from their child. would you if the tables were turned? The same thing applies that "when did you become smarter than your parent"? it's a way to hold on to the independence I think. I struggle with this topic and many more but the one thing I can assure you on is GET OTHERS WAYS TO COPE !! Since I joined this group I was ready to divorce my hubby, be homeless, ... throttle my MIL... since I joined I have been given great advice, put in my place when needed and helped to vent Try to remember to "let her win" now and again and be the bigger person.
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If you can't take it anymore, are you looking into alternatives? Caring for someone you can't stand to be with (even if you love her) for 7 years ought to be enough to make up for bad karma for several past lives. :) Consider yourself to go on to something else.

If you want help thinking of alternatives and investigating them, let us know.

If what you really need right now is to vent and have us say, "there, there. This too shall pass" consider yourself patted on the back and hugged.
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Oh, it will drive you crazy when they already know everything you know and think they even know it better. You really can't say anything to many parents because it makes them mad. I'm sure the retort made you feel guilty. I don't think you'll be the same even though you probably will still be here. I wouldn't be surprised if you're the opposite. I can't see a narcissistic child taking care of a narcissistic parent. That wouldn't work at all. I imagine that it would be war.

...After I wrote that I started wondering if two narcissists can occupy the same space. I guess they could if there is more than one center of the universe. :)
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