As a relatively young caregiver (43), I think much of my resentment and irritation often comes from the fact that I've done the marriage thing, the divorce thing, the raising the kids thing...but I've never had the opportunity to do the alone thing. I've never once lived on my own without a spouse, kids, other relatives (spouse's or mine) living with me - not once. So sometimes I feel my relatively young age and my situation as caregiver for my mom makes me resentful of the fact that I really have no life of my own. (Of course, I don't let that resentment show to mom or anyone else, but it's there, and I'm sure it's there for others as well.)
I was just wondering how old other caregivers here are, and if the more mature caregivers feel as stuck and resentful as some of the younger ones.
Don't get me wrong - as I've said in another post, I know that like many caregivers, I put myself in this situation, and no one forced me into it. I volunteered to drop everything in my life and move in with Mom because she needed someone, and I was the only one that could do it without too much difficulty (boy, is "difficulty" a relative term!). But I thought it would be nice to see thoughts from others to get an idea of the range of ages.
If I had know 5 years ago what I know today, I would have done things differently, like saying *no* more often to my parents demands.
take care of yourself.
I, for one, do not want my children to have to be in the position I find myself in now. I am going to make every effort to fund my retirement and long-term care before that happens. If the time comes where I can't care for myself any longer, I will go to a nursing home or assisted living community before I will move in with one of my kids. I don't ever want to put them - or myself - in that situation.
Definitely a good reminder...
I too am looking forward to doing the alone thing. I went from living with roommates in college to one grandparent with alzheimers and one with mobility issues.
A lot of my friends are married and are starting their families. I am single and I do not see myself wanting kids, since I feel like I already have 2.
ive made love and ive made babies,
lol. told ya the david coe music makes me belligerant for a week or so.
im 55 , my b**tard sons are raised and i agree with boni. i have time in my life for an elder or two now. i think the term " dementia " has come to me to mean just another worn out , diseased organ . ( the brain ). i find this type of care to be extremely fascinating. i think most elders suffer dementia at various levels.
my aunt edna is getting late stage and her nouns have became too much trouble. im just the guy with the beard now. mental illness has always fascinated me..
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