My Mother gets SS and VA, lives with me. I don't know how much to charge her to stay here. Sister called state. Advice?

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My mother gets SS & a Va check from my father that passed away. She has moved in my home and she does not want me to back to work. She keeps her money she has her own account. She does not pay me for living here I don't want to ask her for money but I am going to need help from her. I have POA and I am on her checking account but I don't take her money I don't know how much to charge her staying here. My sister call the state on me. I don't know what to do. I have a brother he lives out of state and don't want anything to with mom heath. She still baths her self. and makes her bed. I don't know where to turn to I don't want to put her in a home.

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Have your good legal people draw up an agreement for room and board and care, to make it clear where the money is going.
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Thanks pamstegman yes I have a good legal people I have all my things in order.
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My sympathies to you Deb, you are fighting on more than one front. To protect your mother, I hope you have an order of protection to keep these flea flickin rabid varmints away from mom. And those are my polite words.
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I also had to put them in court for the money and the guns they got from her that where my fathers they would not bring them back. I don't talk to my sister. I do go to a support group once a month. Thank you all for the info. it helps me.
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My sister called the state on me because she wanted control over my mother she has been in court trying to get her grandson her daughter passed away with cancer 1 year ago. she is hard up for money the laser fees and my mother can't live with her. My sister and her husband and son are on drugs and fight all the time. Mom moved in with me because they where getting money off of her.
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Tell us a little more about why your sister called the state. It is completely appropriate that your mother should contribute to the household. If she were staying in a place of her own or in a facility, she would be paying even more. You are saving her money by having her stay with your family. If your sister called the state about your saying you were going to ask for a reasonable amount of money, then your sister was out of line. Your mother's SS and VA are being paid for your mother's upkeep, not for saving to be shared by all later in the estate. If your mother is willing, you can draw up a contract about what she will pay and what will be provided for her. Since she doesn't want you to go back to work, you may also want to include caregiver compensation if your state will allow a POA to also be a paid caregiver. (I've heard that some states may not allow this, but I don't know if it is true.)
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our elder care atty said she can pay 1/3 of our living expenses. Her, myself & my husband living in house - hence the 1/3. all expenses - mortgage, taxes, insurance, utilities etc.
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Your mistake was taking her in. With SS and VA she can get situated in a nice ALF and you can keep your sanity. She is well on her way to controlling every minute of your life.
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Can you tell us why your sister called the state on you? And why you don't want to have her live in a different residence? It might be the best thing not only for you but for her? Sometimes caregivers have so much guilt they can't see things objectively. Could you possibly find a support group?
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