My father does not have dementia. He has mobility issues. Today he told me he thinks I want something from him and that is why I am caring for him. I quit my awesome job and moved to another state to care for him. He does not treat me well. I know he is hurting because he does not have use of his legs and he takes it out on me. My old employer contacted me and offered my job back with a big increase in pay. I feel burnt out caring for my dad but also feel guilty if I leave him. I have four other siblings that live in different states that will not volunteer to care for him. Don't know what to do? need some advice. thanks
If needed liquidate assets or rent his home, but it needs to happen. Otherwise, if needed he can go to a facility in his state.
You have to do what's best for you and I'm sure you'll read the same thing over and over here. Don't be a caregiver, 5 or 10 years down the line, posting about how you've wasted your life caring for your father for so many years. Not that it's a waste, but you know what I mean. If you're burned out now how will you feel a year from now? Or even 6 months from now?
If you can find another arrangement for your dad take and run like hell back to your old job. Don't give up your life to take care of your dad. If you go back to your old job can you move your dad there into an AL facility maybe? At least you'd be closer to him and could oversee his care AND work your job.
You still have options......for now. Those options go away after a certain point and we can never tell at what point they're gone. One day they're just gone and there's not a damn thing we can do about it.
There's nothing wrong with wanting....needing....your own life. It's natural to want that. And there's nothing to feel guilty about, not one little thing. You've cared for your dad, it's been awful. Your siblings don't help and they most likely never will. You've gone down this road and you'd like to make a change. You have every right to make that change without feeling guilty. It's your life.
Your position is as bad as mine. Can you put him into a care facility that he might actually enjoy?