My father went from being somewhat incontinent to an indwelling catheter for 7 months and now free of the catheter, but fully incontinent. Mom is wishing to be his sole caregiver, though we do have someone come in 3 hours, 3x week, against her wishes. She wants me and my siblings to help but not in very personal ways. She and my dad both have some degree of dementia so they are somewhat lacking in logic. I take them both weekly for doctor appointments, visiting friends and out to lunch. So here's my question...how do I handle ensuring Dad is clean and dry? Yesterday as he got out of my car, I saw that the back of his pants were wet (and thus my leather seat). I've cared for lots of babies and I know how to check a diaper but I just can't seem to do that to my dad. My mom just doesn't even think about it. What do you suggest?