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My husband says he wants to leave, but he would need to take his mom, too. I'm tired of the threats of him leaving. I try and try and I feel like nothing I do is good enough. Is this normal?

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Sadly it’s common. These dementia ordeals destroy entire families. My marriage is good but my extended family is at each other’s throats.

What can you do? Money is involved. Old grudges are involved. Parents terrible behavior in the past...

I don’t trust any of my relatives. Except mom and my daughter.
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Reply to HolidayEnd
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Lostinthemix, We know that you have been having to deal with this negative situation for awhile.

First your husband wanted his Mom to live with the two of you and now he wants to move out of the house and take his Mom with him?

Oh, Oh, I just re-read your post:
So NOW your husband wants to move out of the house and NOT TAKE HIS MOM WITH HIM? That's funny! He can't stand his own Mom so he wants to move away from her!

However, it is also NOT FUNNY because he wants to move away from his Mom AND HIS WIFE. Since when did your status change from WIFE to UNPAID CAREGIVER?

You need to tell hubby that if HE LEAVES, HIS MOM LEAVES WITH HIM!! No, ifs, ands, or buts!

MIL is NOT your responsibility. Why isn't your husband looking for a place for his Mom to move to instead? Because he feels guilty about bringing her into his house and now just 9 months later, he wants her out of his house. So he is blaming you and expects you to take care of MIL.

I haven't had to deal with in-laws, so I don't have a lot of good suggestions for you. Let's get your post back on the first page again.
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Reply to DeeAnna
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I know that you have had a hard time since your MIL moved in with you and your husband in Nov 2017. Are both your husband and MIL complaining about how you are taking care of her? Who is doing the actual physical care of your MIL--your husband or you? And if you are the one who is taking care of his Mom, who is going to take care of her when he takes her with him? Not you! So maybe, there is a "silver lining" to the threat?

We have a thunderstorm and I need to stop before the lights go out again. God Bless!
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Reply to DeeAnna
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Unfortunately it is all too normal. This world seems to stray further from having sacred marriages every day. I am divorced myself but luckily there were no children or other family members that suffered from the separation. My wife wanted to leave and I did everything I could for her not to. Some people just aren't happy with themselves and they blame others. Your husband will more than likely realize he made a mistake, but by then, it will be too late. Don't sell yourself short. There are plenty of people out there willing to have a happy and healthy relationship. Best of luck.
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Reply to Caregiverology
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