How to I deal with a change in character with my 94 year old Dad?

As others have said, he needs a full medical work up. Being angry, grumpy, etc. Is common with kidney disease as well as dementia and depression. Good luck, I am dealing with the same thing with my 95 year old dad with stage 4 kidney disease.

He is not angry with you. It is so hard when it is your parent and they change but there are medicines out there that help. Take him to his MD and explain the situation. If you don't want to talk about it in front of him, write everything down and have the nurse give it to the Doctor before he comes in to the room. We did this for my father in law and the Doctor really appreciated it.
The meds really help.
Good luck

My dad is 93 and has dementia and he acts this way. Most days, I don't know which end of the spectrum I'm going to get. He needs to see the doctor. I learned a long time ago not to take this personally. It's the dementia talking.

I don't know if this is a common symptom in men, but with my MIL when she starts behaving this way, it often means that she has developed a Urinary Tract Infection. Any chance that could be the problem here?

Good news is, that if this is the problem, he may straighten back up once the antibiotics kick in . . . .Then you get your "regular" dad back.

At this age everyone has personality changes and idiosyncrasies. Unless they are very major, it’s best to just adjust your responses and actions rather than consulting a plethora of physicians. A test for a UTI is simple, but beyond that it’s best to accept them and move on. There might be a diagnosis but there won’t be a cure. Medications may be prescribed but the side effects for someone this age may be worse than the actual diagnosis.

I see that you already had a test for UTI - was that a dip stick test or a culture? Sometimes they find more with a culture - easy test for you and dad. There are other conditions that can mimic dementia symptoms, so if he hasn't had a full check up recently, including all blood work, it might be a good idea to schedule one. Find a way to express your concerns about your dad's recent change in demeanor with the doctor before the appointment and ask they keep that confidential (the last thing you want is to have the doctor "spill the beans" and then dad gets upset about that too!)

It is possible he is exhibiting early dementia, but you can only really know for sure if your rule out other conditions and it progresses with him showing other signs. Check for the symptoms/stages, but understand these are just a guide - not everyone has all symptoms, some may have other symptoms and every person progresses at their own rate, not necessarily by the stages listed.

As for how to deal with it, in the meantime - see if you can provide copies of what he is asking for (not the originals.) While you know it is best to let this roll off your back, it is hard until you get more used to it. Deep breath, excuse yourself and walk away for a bit to compose yourself if you need to (bathroom break is an easy one!), find ways to distract him and/or redirect his focus onto something else, something he enjoys/likes.

All of these take time and effort to work on, and you'll likely have times when none of it works. You're only human, as we all are! If you are living together, do find ways to get a break from caring, whether it be family, friend or hired help.

My dad's character and personality are vastly different than the dad I used to know. And it continues to change. He’s some odd mix of sweet, annoying, rude, kind, impatient, bullying, and a pest to strangers. He can be really considerate and kind to me, and then say really rude and hurtful things. His doctors have told us he doesn’t have dementia, but we quietly wonder if we’re looking at the start of it. You may be also.
I don’t have any answers for this other than maybe a visit with his doctor with you letting the doc know ahead of the appt what your concerns are. I’ve done that, more than once, and after testing have been told my dad has a sound mind, but also has a loss of filters that is common with his age. I’ve learned to monitor the behavior and not let it get to me, at least most of the time

I would have him checked for a UTI. Its very serious in men. I would also have him checked for a stroke. Does he have Dementia, if so it could be a decline. Maybe Dad should no longer be on his own. My nurses called a sudden change an "episode". It can happen overnight.

If your father hasn't seen his doctor recently, it's probably time for a general check up. Routine tests could reveal if there's any physical cause for his abrupt change in mood and possibly his mental function; and if an obvious culprit turns up it might be easily treatable. Is this something you could persuade him to agree to, do you think?

Consult with his doctor. Is he getting dementia? People with dementia can go through personality changes. It's difficult, but don't take it personally. My mother, when her dementia was still mild, got anxiety and irrational thoughts that she was running out of money. She packed her suitcases one time thinking she had to move to a less expensive place. I began to reassure her often and in a simple way that she has enough money to last for her whole life, and that she didn't have to worry.