I have brothers, 2 of them, very well off brothers. I'm not bitter that they are well off, I am bitter that for 8 years I cared for my mom while they hung out and did things together and hardly came to see her while I took the brunt of all her care and the side effects of her disease. I was always to blame for everything. There came a point the last 2 years of her life I was calling 911 for her anywhere from once every month to once every 2 weeks. My brothers had to conference call to do hospice leaving me to sign the paper work even when they had POA. I feel like they left me holding the bag on 100% of everything. But when things were bad I had both of them in my face telling me how I was failing her I can't count the fights in the ER that I would be crying and have a brother in my face yelling at me calling me names. I was never certified in caregiving but I did the best I could and I knew mom better then they ever tried too. I was the one fighting with doctors for more tests. While they sat at jobs I was in hospital rooms I was arguing with doctors on mom's behalf. I was on call 24/7. They came and saw her when it was convenient for them (they lived in the same state). I also want to add that 3 years prior I also took care of my oldest daughter who at the time had a genetic disorder and passed away at 2 1/2 not more then 3 years later our mom was diagnosed with COPD. We grew up close but now they are close and I'm an outsider. They treat me like I am trash and only say nice things to me when holiday's roll around. After our mom passed away they insisted I get a job and do something with my life. When I told them I needed time they pushed me away even further. I resent them for their treatment of our mom and they are starting to treat our dad the same way. He recently had surgery that was very serious and they sat at their jobs texting me for updates while I sat in the hospital with my daughter waiting and pacing to find out what was going on for 2 days straight. Then when he went into a facility for therapy only one showed up for one hour in the month he was there. The other was on vacation. Within 2 weeks of our moms passing one took his kids to Disneyland for a week and said I quote "I needed to give my kids normal" Not taking myself or my daughter into consideration in that statement that our normal was blown to smithereens when mom died because we cared for her day in and day out. Between the two of them they have been on 12 vacations since mom passed and usually together with their wives. One got married and again fought with me for not jumping to make the arrangements to go but this fight included talking about my lack of making money and getting a job. My brothers resent that I'm not a hard core money machine like they are and they belittle me all the time over it. Am I wrong to think in a way I'm better then them because I have love over money? I wish we were close like we were but at the same time I would never want to become like them. I feel like a bad person for how I feel but I also feel they pushed me to this point, the point of I resent them. I tried for a long time after mom passed to reach out to them and make a connection but eventually I got tired of talking to voicemails so I stopped calling and texting, the first month after she passed they were there for me and then it was dead silence. I have grieved alone I don't feel they even really felt her loss they moved on so quick with their lives that they established while she was here. I don't say anything to them about how I feel because I want to keep what peace I have in my life just that peace because my daughter adores her uncles when she sees them on family holidays. I tried to express my feelings once on another site about them and I was belittled by the members so I deleted my account now here I am trying to make sense again of how I feel. I don't care about their vacations but I love how when they have pictures they use the word "family" when our dad or myself are not there. I think that's what hurts the most is they use the word "family" so loosely like they know what that is after what they put our mom, myself and our dad through not being there for us emotionally but quick to rip us a new one. They also recently asked for her ashes saying they wanted to spread them where she wanted to be. Like they have the right to do so without my dad and I there they didn't ask us to be there they wanted to by themselves with their wives. I just don't know if it's possible to let this bitterness go I have tried. Sorry this was so long I just had so much to say.