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Caretaker needs support. Mother and I have to find a solution of her assets running out much faster than thought, she never wants to be separated from me. I give her loving care and we are enjoying a blessed time together. When and if she goes on Medicaid I would not be able to stay in a facility with her 24 x 7. I got good advice on dealing with my brother on AgingCare. We will get an attorney to document that she never wants us to be separated. In the meantime my Granddaughter, (adopted by my son and his wife when she was a troubled teenager) her boyfriend, 3 children by her first marriage and a baby with her boyfriend want to move into my house with my son. I do not want my Grandaughter to move there. She and her first husband and two babies moved in with my son after I retired and I was staying for several seasons in Colorado. I came back every three months to spend a few weeks with my Mother, take her shopping and to Dr. appointments etc. The grandkids had another baby at the house. My great Grandaughter is adorable. Grandaughter, is not pleasant. She and her first husband destroyed our house. They did not use diapers on the babies and rotted the carpets that were supposed to last 30 years. They excluded me from the dining room table and she went in to the kitchen and banged the dishes around when I went in to cook. They put nails into the walls and woodwork and she moved her brother into the house too when I was away telling me that he needed a break. He found a job at the local Eat'N Park. He had bad friends. There was one friend that was older, fought with me over my request not to turn the air conditioner down as far as it would go when it was near 90 outside. I asked her brother to never bring him to the house again and talked about it to granddaughter and her husband. They totally ignored me. I still have nightmares of when this friend came running across the front of the house with a large copper pipe from the laundry room to his car and zoomed away while I sat stunned in my car. I could not pick him out of 8 photos of lookalikes but he was put in jail for robbing houses on other cases. They broke in, water was squirting all over the place and badly damaged the downstairs and furniture and books in the storage room. Grandaughters brother used a golf club on the swirled plaster in the entry hall, a walnut custom banister and in the gameroom where he was living. He kicked in the bathroom tile behind the faucet and shower. When I drove back home from Colorado to attend my greatgrandaughters birthday party, I was told not to come to the house that weekend, when I called and was told they were not at home. I went there to organize my things for the trip back and in front of all the guests grandaughter told me that I ruined her daughters birthday party? They never chipped in a penny or did any work on the house as if they were supposed to to live there rent free. After we got them out, we pulled all the carpet, redid the hardwood floors, certain walls,woodwork, paint including the cathedral ceilings. The fireplace was clogged, we ripped out all the bathrooms as the fixtures, tile and floors were all destroyed. We had the house all ready to rent out , new Anderson Windows, when Mother asked me to come back and my son lost his job. Son lives there and for now I am using it for storage. As I am writing this I called my son, he said alright to my not wanting the grandkids moving in. We would probably loose the hardwood floors with the baby running around without diapers.

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They want to stay at my house while their trailer is brought up to code. They have to work out an alternate living situation until their trailer is in A-1 condition. I am not going to enable them any more. Her boyfriends Mother is having the work done. Either she or one of their friends can provide housing for them or they can rent a place. My son is very devoted to them and he is always there for his daughter and Grandchildren. It was a difficult decision for him to say No to them. He would give them the shirt off his back. We sold the piece of property to her boyfriend's uncle before they knew each other. Her boyfriend acquired the property from her uncle. He bought the property with a big uninhabitable mountain cabin on it.  Grandaughter and her 1st husband were living in the house, when they went to visit his parents one fall with two children back then and they refused to drain the pipes. The house froze and thawed several times before they got back. That's when they moved into our house and trashed that house too. There is a bad history here. Writing these things out and getting feedback helps me a lot. I had so much and much of it has been lost. Thank God my son saw the light and has me at ease now that He will not let them move in. Taking care of my Mother an myself is my first priority. My next step is getting to work on my own from Mothers Apartment or hopefully soon from my home but I can't wait. Mother and I need to get financially stabile. No more unappreciated giveaways.
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I would certainly not want these destructive people in the house. They need to work on their own problems, not be enabled to continue sponging. And, would it be advisable to notify child protective services?
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