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My partner and I bought our first home together because we knew her parents from out of state needed to move in to be closer to us so we could assist them. My partner is an only child. Before they could move in, her father went into a nursing home so just her mother lives with us. I pictured a fairly independent person moving in since they were living alone without any home health care previously. What I got was the opposite. Her mother constantly asks my partner for things, and the "waiting hand and foot" on her mother has worn her down. She knows she needs to do something because it has impacted her job. I don't like her mother and now that I work at home her mother doesn't respect my work boundaries. Though I want to be nice and helpful (and have bent over backwards to accommodate the mother) because I think we will get married (we've talked about how it needs to be a priority), I feel like I'm being used. I feel like if I'm doing all this work I should at least get some legal protection and benefits from being married, while right now I have none. Am I crazy for continuing to live in this arrangement? Or am I too demanding to get married?

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Get married because you can’t picture life without being with the person you love, not for legal protection or other benefits. That’s a poor foundation for marriage. And yes, you’re both likely being taken advantage of in this situation. Time for an honest conversation between you and your partner about how to change things to make it work for all, whether that be bringing in help for mom or mom moving elsewhere. But continuing as is will only grow resentment and ruin your relationship. Good luck as you figure this out
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