Here's the thing. I have been living in a symbiotic relationship with a lady for 15 years. She is 80 retired farmer and I (65) have been using her farm in exchange for Mr fix-it, security, companionship, and paid some expenses. We were intimate for a short while, but not for 10 years now,- now just companions.I live in an outside room. She is getting harder to live with as age creeps up.- Deafness, short/no attention span,negativity.etc. And I am lonely. I am craving an intimate soul-partner. I had a lovely lady for a short while, and boy was the "companion" peed -off.! My lady stuck it out for 2 years and then was not prepared to continue our "long-distance-relationship". If I were to speak to my companion of my loneliness, she would be massively hurt, but would tell me to go with a kind of " I knew/have been waiting for this to happen" , "poor me", resignation. Not only would that give me a huge guilt trip, but I don't know whether I could live with myself, having had the use of her farm for all these years and now wanting to bail-out at the first signs of difficulty.My friends tell me I don't owe her anything, but I can't simply throw away 15 years of friendship and hardships on the farm together. And if I were to leave, she would have to sell-up the farm and move into "Shady Pines" and wait to die. She is no longer capable of handling all that for herself so I'd have to do it, all the while wondering if someone will do the same to me when I get frustrating to live around. Thoughts from the forumites please. !