Dad, 87, was put into a nursing home early this year to rehab a foot heel burn that took a very long time heal [diabetic]. Now the foot is better but his brain and legs don't 'connect' any longer and, as the nurses put it - he refuses to even attempt to walk. [He had had 3 prior instances at home where he either fell to the floor or sat on the floor - and could not get his legs or feet under him to stand or crawl - for hours and with help from us, EMTs, etc!.] Between his diminishing mental capacity and inability to physically care for himself, he is now a permanent resident at the nursing home.
Mom, 86, cannot physically or mentally deal with him any longer. When she goes to visit now, he wants her to take him home so he can 'help her around the house'. He is loudly showing anger that she is going to leave him 'here to die'. It is hard for her to return to see him again.
He says he can walk, but he won't - and we understand this is part of his dementia. How do we respond to him? Is there a way to make him understand? How do we help Mom through this?