How did you and your loved one handle respite care?

Follow
Share

Please share with me your experiences with respite care. How did your loved one handle this? Did they feel abandoned? Did you visit daily? Were they well taken care of? How long is recommended for me to get well rested?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
20

Answers

Show:
To Rosemary44, yes, such good advice. Sorry to hear about such a terrible & "just wrong" experience for you & your husband. Please do not blame yourself for incompetent people & that is too nice of a word for them! I had used a very "well known" & high $ amount place for a short stay. Their protocol was to get prescribed meds from their pharmacy; in lieu of ours which were in the original bottles with strength & dose instructions. I didn't feel ok with their protocol & they wouldn't budge, insistent on their rules. Needless to say they are off my list forever! It's important to make sure you check any facility thoroughly for anything. I was fooled by a sales pitch & high star rating. All sounded & looked great, NOT! Their respites now have a minimum of 30 days, more $ for them. Visit & assess, talk to management & staff, a day try-out is a good idea; a better sign if they suggest it! If you see a caregiver or visitors introduce yourself & ask questions, I've found most to be friendly & understanding, all been there/done that! Don't abandon a thought of a respite, just more homework for us, the caregiver! But "us" need it! Take Care of You
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I really believe they do better in a respite care facility then we think they will do.

Of course we can't know this up front because the facility will promise you the moon, but the one I chose for my husband didn't give his meds correctly. They have to be on a timely basis and the correct dosage. That didn't happen.

My one month respite turned into another 2 months at another facility to get him back into condition to come home.

The moral of this story is find out if they hire nurses to give out meds. How many nurses per patients who require that med service.
My husband has Parkinson's and he needs meds on a timely basis.

If med delivery is not your problem and they publish a monthly calendar of doings every day, your loved one will thrive. Find out if someone will come by to bring him to dining every day and to the daily "happenings". Most have exercise every morning but if your person has dementia they have to be brought there. Find out if that will happen. Exercise is so important for people with dementia and as we know, they can't get there by themselves.

Enjoy your time off. Collapse somewhere.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Respite has been a sanity saver for me, and my mom is not nearly as difficult as what many of you here have to go through with your parents. I convinced her to go for two weeks in a nursing home because I had a good opportunity to travel for work, and it is not safe for her to be alone (I have to hire a sitter for her when I'm going to be gone for a few hours as she has had too many falls and can't even go potty safely by herself). She cried and was upset, but I even if I hadn't had to go for work, I needed a break.

Don't feel guilty. Caregiving is physically and emotionally exhausting, and can ruin our health (sometimes the caregiver dies first, and something like half of us suffer from clinical depression). If my health goes, then mom will have to go to a nursing home forever, and she doesn't want that. At least she can tell sometimes how completely exhausted I am, and so although she doesn't like it, she realizes I need it. So two weeks a year, I take a break, and every week, I try to take an afternoon to go to the gym or just relax. I am not a natural caregiver, and could not do 24/7 on my own. Yes it gets expensive (mom pays for it) but a nursing home would be even more. I am sole caregiver except for the aides i hire, so I really need a break. If she were more mobile, I'd use adult day care too, but transporting her is just too difficult. There are some very good daycares.
Please give yourself a break and get as much help as you can afford!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

How I handled respite care when I had to leave my Maryland home and move in with my mother where she was living alone in her own home in Massachusetts was I would occasionally use one of her friends to drive her to a Dr or dental appointment, else I would have dropped over and be good to no one! These persons were glad to do it for me! I  can't urge enough...GET HELP.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My mother was well loved-continued below...
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I have to admit I was scared out of my mind that once he got used to the routine when I placed him for respite I would not be able to bring him home.
I used the same place for respite that I did for his Day Care so he was used to the facility and the people.
I dropped him off for Day Care as usual but I was asked to come back to help him get ready for bed so that it would be easier for him. Well I tried that but he would not settle down. I left and told the staff that he would probably be up for a while but he would go to bed. He did, had a pleasant night and I left that next morning.
I was worried but when I got home I went to pick him up the next day, I waited until about lunch time, went in packed up all his clothes, put them in the car then got him after he finished lunch. He got into the car, got home and went right to his recliner as if he had been away for just the day.
Mind Blown.....
All my worry
All my stress
He was just fine, adapted well.

I guess it is just like when dropping a child off to day care you imagine the worst, hope for the best and things usually work out well.
Important thing is you need a break you need to take advantage of respite care.
You will be a better caregiver refreshed, relaxed and with a new perspective on things.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I guess I should have been clear on my answer. If one has the money, and a caring family, and will not feel guilty leaving, then take a few hours see how you feel and increase the time away either longer or more often.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My daughters took me to England for 80 bday. I was taking spouse 2 day wk to Memory day care. They suggested every day for wk before I left. Then the day I I left acted as normally drop off but left for 2 wks. Needless to say I was concerned. I got shingles 3 wks before from stress. I snuck over his foam bed pad & special blanket. The helpers said to him your going to stay w us tonight when I normally picked him up. A friend had son in law in same place who said she'd keep eye on hubby. She texted me he's doing fine. Was good news for me. When I picked him up out of the blue said, I really enjoyed myself here. Blew me over as he can't remember what he ate 10 min ago. He had never been away from me at nite. I requested he have a rm mate. I can't tell you how wonderful that was for me. Now know all worry was for nothing. God bless, he'll take care of both of you.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I know you love your "patient" but for God's sake, you are a human being, not God. YOU have every right to have a break and you must in order to take care of yourself. You should NOT feel guilty. Explain this to the patient and if they have any kindness in them and are able to understand, then fine. If not, then don't worry about it - they don't understand and just want attention. But YOU must have respites.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

All the answers are as of money Is not a issue. With us it is.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions