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My Grandma has declined majorly the past few months. Christmas time she was doing good, eating full meals, getting out at least twice a week. Now she's sleeping 20+ hours, sick all the time, not eating, barely drinking. She's in a lot more pain than normal. She has these episodes where her dementia gets so bad, that she doesn't know where she is. She doesn't know who I am. Thinks her parents and grandparents are here and looking for her, that I kidnapped her. She has tried to run away (poorly, because she can barely sit up by herself, but still the fact that she tried...). We took her to the doctor, and they put her on Quetiapine and told us to give her Unisom sleep aids. Both of them made her worse. Even more confused (which we didn't know was possible), and severe hallucinations. Such as thinking her bed was a giant deep fryer, a tiger was sitting on her window, and giant teddy bears were flying around the house.


We took her to quick care about a month ago, and they said she had a bladder infection. She had been on antibiotics for it for 2 weeks. When they did the test again after the 2 weeks, they confirmed that the bladder infection had healed up. Last week, she pretty much completely stopped eating and drinking, refusing her meds, but she couldn't sleep, non stop abdominal pain, nausea, diarrhea, and increased weakness. We took her to the hospital, and they looked her over, said that's normal for her age and sent her home. The next day she was worse, so we took her to the hospital again (different one), and they said she was malnourished, dehydrated, low in potassium, magnesium, and sodium, with her blood pressure on the low end of the normal range. They admitted her to the hospital, gave her some fluids, and pumped her full of potassium. Then (before the iv dose was even finished) they took her blood, saw her numbers were normal (Gee, I wonder why) and sent her home. They didn't even keep her overnight.


The next few days, she was so sick because they gave her so much of the potassium at once. She did a little better the next day, then afterwards she had one of her breakdowns that lasted almost 2 days. We finally got her calmed down, called the doctor and they said to give her the Unisom. We explained what had happed, and the doctor just told us to try it again. *Rolls eyes*


Today she is sick again. Nauseated, vomiting, diarrhea, confusion, not eating, refusing her meds, and increased weakness. We took her back to the hospital and they said that they wouldn't really be able to do anything, and the best thing to do would be to take her home and watch her. If she gets worse then to call our PCP. *Hits head on wall*


The only thing we haven't done yet is contact hospice, and we can't do that without a referral from our PCP, who doesn't feel she needs it. I'm out of options. I have no idea what to do anymore. My parents are of little help right now, and I still can't get in contact with my Uncle (her POA). So N.H and A.L are out of the question. Even if they were options, I wouldn't feel right leaving her there like she is.


I mean, seriously? Do I have to call the police and force a hospital to take care of her? She can't keep going on like this. She's going to end up killing herself. I've done everything I could freaking think of. I surrender. I am mentally and physically exhausted. I've pulled 5 all nighters in the week, and the other two days I got less then 10 hours of sleep. (All together, not each day.) I don't know how to help or take care of her anymore. I'm on my last...everything.

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Isn't your GM on Medicare? Medicare does not require a referral. Please double-check this.
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@jennagibbs I need it for insurance purposes.
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You don't need a referral for hospice. You can call them directly and their doctor can do an evaluation.
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There will be trouble! - that's the whole idea! But it won't be you who's in it.

You've got admission forms, you've got contact records, you've been chasing your tail for at least a fortnight this time alone. NOBODY is going to think you're to blame. And besides anything else, your poor grandmother needs their help and so do you. Call them.
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The attending physician at the hospital can give an order for hospice. Hospitals are now...Get them out as fast as they can. Next time she is in tell them you no longer can take care of her and she needs to go to a NH. Talk to the Social worker at the hospital.
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My ex-husband only ever had one intelligent thing to say and it was about doctors- "they're just practicing".

I know that doesn't help. Sorry. If it were me - and something similar happened once with my dad - I pitched a major fit and in a loud, boaderline hysterical voice told them my plans for a lawsuit and going to the media if anything happened to my dad as a result of them not properly treating him - we were in the ER at the time - Friday night - huge audience in the waiting room. My brother had gotten a pillow for my dad and had helped him to lay down on the floor - then he began taking pictures with his phone. It took about five minutes for them to hustle my dad back to a cubical and arranged to admit him for the night.

Sometimes you just gotta be a high-flying b!tch, in this world.
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It is ridiculous, but I'm hesitant about APS, because I feel like I'm going to get in trouble because she's so sick. I know I've done everything I can do, but it's always a doubt in my mind. I'm seriously considering calling them though.
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Kaykay, you need an ally with some clout. This is absolutely bloody ridiculous! You've got ER saying call her GP, you've got her GP saying oo sorry can't see you for yet another week, you can't contact hospice without a GP referral, and meanwhile you're trying to nurse an incredibly unwell, frail old lady *in pain* with zero sodding medical input. Excuse my language, but honestly it's enough to make you spit.

Bit of a Hail Mary, but how about calling APS? You need someone to help you bang heads together.
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They did a chest x-ray, but because of pulmonary fibrosis you can't really tell anything. Other then that just basic blood work. I agree, she should have been admitted. They even told us she was dehydrated. Our PCP won't refer anything until she sees her in person.
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KayKay, did they do an abdominal ultrasound, xray or CT scan? DId they make sure she doesn't have pancreatitis, gallbladder issues, etc? They should have admitted her, imho, because she is at risk for dehydration. What is wrong with these people at the hospital? Can you call her PCP and ask them for a referral to a GI dr? I am so sorry -- your poor grandma! And poor you!
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I don't know what they meant by worse. The potassium thing was the only thing I could think of. They gave her a full bag of it, plus pills that they crushed up in pudding. I talked to her PCP over the phone, but we still haven't been able to get in with her. The soonest is the 14th, because she doesn't accept walk ins. It's by appointment only.
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Kaykay, an overdose of potassium won't make you sick. It will stop your heart. It wasn't the IV electrolytes that made your grandmother feel ill.

Just to get this straight, though: your grandmother presents at ER with nausea, diarrhoea and vomiting, confusion and weakness and they say call your GP if it gets *worse*? Like, how, worse? Projectile vomiting? Bloody diarrhoea? Frank psychosis?

The last time you posted weren't you having trouble getting hold of your grandmother's PCP? Has s/he seen your grandmother since then?
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