I work full time while caring for my elderly mother. She is vision/hearing impaired, has dementia, and is, according to the hospice nurse, in renal failure. She refuses to use her cane or walker and has fallen several times (cracking ribs twice). It's the usual stuff we all deal with as care givers.
My thing is I absolutely hate coming home. The house is depressing and I'm afraid every time I look in on her I'm going to find a dead body. I've been doing this now for four years and have become increasingly isolated and started to drink wine in the evenings more often. I don't like who I have become. I know you all struggle as I do and I just needed to say these things "out loud" to those I hope understand.