She’s very fussy, very tidy and organized. I keep a very neat and clean house but she is way overboard, drove me crazy with constant questions, has lost her sense of humor and basically personality-wise is very incompatible with me. Bottom line is if I had to do this full time, I’d go crazy. I’m no slouch, I took care of my mother-in-law for 15 years and my sister-in-law for two years in my home while she was dying and on hospice. I also went through a very serious illness myself at the same time and was exhausted. I feel bad for my sister being my mothers full-time caregiver but I am over that and don’t want to do it again. I’m tired of the same questions and the same stories over and over and over again. I cut her off and tell her I don’t want to discuss it but she argues with me like a little kid and over the dumbest things.
I found myself not wanting to talk to her so ....I invited friends to my home hoping to engage her in conversation, but she can’t follow conversations anymore so she prefers to isolate herself by retreating out of the room. She really doesn’t want to be around anyone other than me and my husband. She has moderate to advancing more severe dementia and is easily agitated which makes living with her very hard but the finances are not there for her to go to assisted-living and she doesn’t want to either. I just feel so guilty that my sister has to do this and has been doing this for more than five years now. I help her out from time to time but I live 3000 miles away which means transporting mom to and from. This is starting to get really hard on my mother and I know that soon she won’t be able to at all.
It's really getting to my sister but she has lots of buffers, Grown children and grandchildren around to break up the monotony. I do not. My mom is like the visitor who stays too long at your house and when they leave you were so relieved. I pray all the time for patience and kindness, but our personalities really clash, we are very very different people!
I would like to hear your comments because I am feeling very guilty and I am now extremely depressed that I might have to return to the job of caregiving.