My fiancé is the main caregiver for his elderly mother. She’s lived in her own home, refuses to go into any kind of nursing home and refuses to have any in home care - she has fallen several times, but still refuses any help from anyone else but her son, my fiancé. He works fulltime in a very stressful & demanding job, so any free time goes to his mother. It always has, but now it’s worse because she’s 94 and needs a higher level of care and attention. I think she’s very selfish because she refuses any outside help - she’s vety manipulative and has always been able to guilt her son, my fiancé, into being her main caregiver, maintenance man, repair man, chauffeur and companion. It’s getting to the point I’m having a lot of resentment towards him and her. We can’t get anything done on our own home, it’s falling apart - let alone have time to do anything together. His siblings don’t help or live out of state. I’ve been in this relationship for 10 years now and have always felt I come 2nd. His mother has come 1st always. Her needs, her home, her wants, everything. I don’t think much will change, even after she passes. She has two properties that are hers, which he takes care of, her home and a summer home - which he refuses to sell, even after she is gone. He will most likely end up spending any free time he has, maintaining those two properties out of obligation to his parents, even with no one living there. At what point does this stop? As his future wife, isn’t our relationship supposed to come first? Our home? Our needs & dreams? My grandparents never put this kind of stuff on their kids (my parents). They were independent right to the end. My mom & dad put their marriage & family & home first. Why can’t I get my fiancé to see that he is wasting his life away - he’s not living - he just care takes of old people & old houses, & STUFF, while his siblings go on vacations, travel, spend time with family, they do nothing for their mother or the upkeep of her very old home. He does it all. I’m getting very tired of this. Saw it happen with his father, and now his mother. She fell again and is in the nursing home getting PT. Doctors are saying she’s going to need fulltime care when she goes home. Of course she’s refusing any outside help and only wants her son to help her. He’s been the one who’s had everything dumped on him. Should I say something to his siblings? Or stay out of it? I feel like someone needs to put their foot down and say enough is enough!